Meditations on God

The Notification Spiral
All notifications are not created equal.

We now live in the notification era. Instead of us having to actively seek out information, communication, and interaction, the technology we have at our fingertips has become such that these things actually seek us out.

Our phones, tablets, and computers ding, buzz, and light up all day and all night letting us know that someone is trying to tell us something, that someone is saying something to us or about us, and that someone, somewhere, is paying attention to us.

This triggers not only our curiosity, but also our vanity. It makes us feel special. It makes us feel seen, heard, and appreciated. Attention, recognition, and adoration, we tell ourselves, are only a click, a swipe, a fingerprint, or facial scan away.

We post, we comment, and we share, and each time we do, the anticipation builds. We begin to wonder whether or not people will notice and appreciate our posts, our ideas, our photos, videos, and memes. We become self-conscious, nervous, and frightened. What if they do not?

We wait. We check. We wait. We check again. Finally, it happens and we get the alert telling us that someone was paying attention, someone noticed us, and someone connected in some way with the part of ourselves that we put into the world.

We start to realize that certain posts, shares, and comments get us more attention than others, not good, healthy, or positive attention, per se, but some kind of attention. This begins to change the way we think and the way we present ourselves to the world.

Deep down, we are afraid of being alone and unloved, and it feels good to be noticed, even if for the worst parts of ourselves. Instead of being better, instead of making positive change, and instead of adding value to the world, we become, create, and contribute that which gets noticed, for better or worse.

It is up to us to break the cycle and to do something that matters, not something that is merely noticed.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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June 23, 2020

adoration, affection, appreciation, attention, content, contribution, creation, creativity, love, notifications, positive change, social media, value
A Community Of Accountability
Certain people will always feel responsible regardless of their position or status, whether or not they are asked or required to be.

For some people, responsibility feels like a burden that must be avoided, eliminated, or overcome at all costs. For them, accountability is synonymous with subjugation. It is a trap, a dead end path, and a threat to their perceived freedom.

Other people seek out responsibility, demand accountability, and insist on being available and involved. For these people, responsibility is actually synonymous with freedom and empowerment. Instead of feeling restricted by it, they feel gives them a basis upon which to build and shape the lives they desire.

This latter type are who we rely on to show up, not only when they are needed, but before they are needed. They are the ones who ask how they can help, or who know exactly how to help, even when, or especially when, it is inconvenient. They are on time or early, prepared, and engaged. They are our community in the truest meaning of the word.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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June 22, 2020

accountability, community, help, helpfulness, helping, leaders, leadership, relationships, responsibilty, service, tribe
Loving Action (Father’s Day)
Being around is not the same as being present.

Love, if it is not some hollow sentiment, is inextricably tied to duty.

Love is a promise that requires action in order to be demonstrated, proven, and fulfilled.

Love’s claim is a debt owed. It is a pledge of time, both in quantity and quality. It is the assurance of presence, attention, and engagement regardless of, or even in spite of, inconvenience.

To say that we love another person is to imply that we are doing something to love them. They do not have to notice it. They do not have to reciprocate. They are not the ones making the claim. We are.

If our love is more than just a feeling or a word, we must behave in a way that is loving.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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June 21, 2020

affection, attention, attentiveness, childhood, children, debt, duty, family, father’s day, life, love, parenthood, parenting, presence, promise
The Consequences Of Overextension (A Jiu-Jitsu Lesson)
In Brazilian jiu-jitsu, we learn over time that overextending ourselves has very real, even painful, consequences.

One of the greatest benefits of jiu-jitsu training is the near-immediate feedback we receive from rolling (grappling for submissions). When we make mistakes, if we are rolling with someone of equal or greater skill, there are consequences in the form of a a guard pass, a pin escape, a reversal of positions, or a submission.

Submissions are meant to represent the final outcome of an engagement wherein one person has no physical options left and must, therefore, submit to defeat under threat of a joint break or strangulation. Over time, jiu-jitsu practitioners learn that one of the easiest ways to secure a submission or to get submitted is through the overextension, and therefore, overexposure of a limb, whether an arm, leg, or even the neck.

If we expose our elbows or stick our arms out, we are likely to get arm-barred, shoulder-locked, or head-and-arm strangled, exposing our legs or feet will result in leg or foot locks, and sticking our necks out with no protection will get us strangled. In short, an extended limb is a vulnerable limb. When we are on the offensive, we are looking to force or exploit overextension and when we are on the defensive, we are looking to limit it.

The truth of this hard won lesson goes well beyond grappling, however. As is often the case, that which is true in the microcosm of jiu-jitsu also tends to be true in the macrocosm of our lives. Simply put, overextending ourselves sacrifices our integrity and makes us vulnerable in budo and in life.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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June 20, 2020

bjj, brazilian jiu-jitsu, budo, commitment, extension, gracie jiu-jitsu, grappling, integrity, life lessons, Martial Arts, overcommitment, overextension, submission grappling, submissions
The Overlooked Value Of Failure
Success is often more difficult to handle than failure because, while failure can be an end in itself, success requires a commitment to keep going.

We often think of failure in terms of its’ negative connotations. We associate failure with disappointment, frustration, and loss. Failure can also bring us relief, however, because failure resolves uncertainty.

When we try something and we fail, the choices we have are typically fairly clear. They usually come down to a choice between determination, innovation, and resignation. That is to say, we can “try, try, try again,” we can take a different approach altogether, or we can quit, cut our losses, and move on.

Failure is a natural stopping point at which we are afforded the luxury of reassessing our goals, our strategies, and our tactics. Failure allows us to ask ourselves how badly we really wanted what we were working toward and exactly how far we are willing to go in order to achieve it. Failure is a place to rest and catch our breath, even if just for a moment.

Success, on the other hand, in spite of the way it is perceived by those who have never achieved it, affords no such luxury. Success is a state of perpetual motion. Success must be ceaselessly and tirelessly nurtured, fed, and tended to.

Often, instead of creating possibilities, success limits them, forcing us to focus on it and only it lest we lose what we believe ourselves to have gained. Success demands our time, our attention, and our energy.

Failure, in spite of the way it may feel, affords us near limitless options and possibilities because it requires nothing from us. Obviously, failure should not be our goal, but it should also not be overlooked for its value along the way.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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June 19, 2020

achievement, aspirations, decisions, failure, focus, goal setting, goals, growth, possibility, priorities, reevaluation, rest, stoic, stoicism, success, value

The Notification Spiral

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A Community Of Accountability

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Loving Action (Father’s Day)

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The Consequences Of Overextension (A Jiu-Jitsu Lesson)

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The Overlooked Value Of Failure

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