Space to be Understood

Sometimes we must put off the need to be heard in order to be understood. Being misunderstood can leave us feeing powerless. This can lead to frustration. Sometimes, in an attempt to overcome our frustration, we try harder to be heard, thinking that if only we can explain ourselves better, if only we can get…

Silence and Integrity

We do not have to be rude to be authentic. If we have any kind of point of view, lots of people will say and do things that are in conflict with our opinions and beliefs. That is simply part of life. If we feel the need to react to every incidence of disagreement with…

Commit Forward (Then Pivot)

If we do not first commit to a relationship, we cannot pivot within that relationship and be taken seriously. In aikido, there are two fundamental concepts of movement. In the most general terms, the first is entering (irimi) and the second is pivoting or flanking (tenkan). Irimi is the act of moving in, on and…

Maintain Your Bearing

Another person’s longterm plans may not include you. No matter how much you may wish to be a part of someone else’s life and their longterm plans, they may not feel the same way. You may be on parallel paths now, but while you continue to move forward, they may be making decisions and taking…

True Empathy Requires Intelligence And Integrity

You are not what I feel. Young children see, hear, feel, and absorb much more than we know or tend to give them credit for, especially on an emotional level. Before a certain age, however, they do not have the ability to process this information intellectually. It is as if there is a direct transfer…