Before getting upset with someone who we perceive to have wronged us, we should ask ourselves if we would have behaved the way they had if we were in their position.
It is easy to criticize others for the decisions they make or the stances they take.
But their circumstances may have given them no other reasonable choice.
Or, the decision they made may have been the best one given the options they had.
We truly cannot know all of the things influencing others or the forces acting on them.
Even if we disagree with them, we should pause to reflect on their position.
What we perceive as maliciousness, apathy, or ill will may well be our misunderstanding.
Even if we are justified to be perturbed, this exercise in empathy is worth the effort.
Empathy is always worth the effort.
‘Exercising Empathy’ by Robert Van Valkenburgh
HOLISTIC BUDO: As in Life, so too in Budo. As in Budo, so too in Life.
In Brazilian jiu-jitsu, we learn over time that overextending ourselves has very real, even painful, consequences.
One of the greatest benefits of jiu-jitsu training is the near-immediate feedback we receive from rolling (grappling for submissions). When we make mistakes, if we are rolling with someone of equal or greater skill, there are consequences in the form of a a guard pass, a pin escape, a reversal of positions, or a submission.
Submissions are meant to represent the final outcome of an engagement wherein one person has no physical options left and must, therefore, submit to defeat under threat of a joint break or strangulation. Over time, jiu-jitsu practitioners learn that one of the easiest ways to secure a submission or to get submitted is through the overextension, and therefore, overexposure of a limb, whether an arm, leg, or even the neck.
If we expose our elbows or stick our arms out, we are likely to get arm-barred, shoulder-locked, or head-and-arm strangled, exposing our legs or feet will result in leg or foot locks, and sticking our necks out with no protection will get us strangled. In short, an extended limb is a vulnerable limb. When we are on the offensive, we are looking to force or exploit overextension and when we are on the defensive, we are looking to limit it.
The truth of this hard won lesson goes well beyond grappling, however. As is often the case, that which is true in the microcosm of jiu-jitsu also tends to be true in the macrocosm of our lives. Simply put, overextending ourselves sacrifices our integrity and makes us vulnerable in budo and in life.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
It is difficult to worry about our day-to-day problems when someone is trying to choke us unconscious or punch us in the face.
Aside from simply learning how to fight or defend ourselves, there are many psychological, physical, and emotional benefits to be found in sparring based martial arts, martial arts wherein practitioners regularly pressure test one another with live resistance in an attempt to pin, submit, or strike each other. One such benefit is the ability to hyper-focus on an immediate problem while also seeing the bigger picture surrounding that problem. Beyond this state of hyper-focus, however, lies a deeper state wherein our conscious minds gives way to, or become one with, our physical bodies and we enter a state of flow, perfectly present in the exchange, transcendent of all fear, worry, or desire.
At first, when we begin sparring or rolling, we are easily overwhelmed by the bombardment of stimuli coming at us. Things move so fast, with threats, and even pain, seeming to come from all directions at once, that it is difficult for our conscious minds to keep up with the physical exchange and our minds begin to, for lack of a better phrase, short circuit. By trying to deal with an onslaught of physical challenges consciously, we are slow and we lose, a lot. This experience of being can be extremely frustrating, exhausting, and discouraging, but it is also a necessary part of the process.
Over time, our physical skills begin to catch up with the challenges we are faced with and our minds begin to relax into the situation, hyper-focusing on what is happening, what may happen, and what we want to happen, and all of this is then expressed through our bodies. As we become more experienced and more comfortable under pressure, we become immersed in the physical exchange, and our bodies, not our conscious minds, begin to guide us in an intricate dance back and forth with our opponent. With enough skill and the right training partners, sparring or rolling becomes a nearly mystical experience that simultaneously takes us out of ourselves and brings us closer to our essential natures.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
One of the most powerful lessons martial arts teach us is that very difficult, seemingly insurmountable problems can be solved by applying the right combination of posture, balance, angles, and leverage. What at first feels like a hopeless challenge becomes less and less so the more we learn and practice. Over time, positions we were once helplessly stuck in no longer cause us concern or discomfort because, as our skills improve, so does our power to choose how and when we escape or reverse a bad position.
With this ability to choose comes confidence and optimism. The more we practice, the more we learn that, as long as we have not yet been submitted or knocked out, we still have some degree of freedom to choose our own fate and the fate of our opponent. Skill and experience gives us hope because, as long as we are free to move in some direction, even if it was not the direction we once wanted or hoped to move in, we know that the fight is not yet over.
The experience of being stuck or overwhelmed can feel almost claustrophobic at first. It is enough to make many people want to quit, but the ones who stick around, the ones who see past their own discomfort and keep coming back in spite of it or even because it, soon discover that fear and pain are temporary, and are far outweighed by the joy, satisfaction, and physical, emotional, and psychological freedom that comes with the progress that continued practice offers. Success, we come to find out, is not necessarily reserved for the best of us, but for the ones who keep showing up and who remember that no matter how bad it gets today, there is always a solution to the problems we face, even if we do not know it or know how to apply it yet.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
Meditations on God 