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Meditations on God

  • Robert Van Valkenburgh

  • A Willow in a Snowstorm (Jujutsu and the Transcendence of Violence)

    Does your jujutsu (jiu-jitsu) propagate violence or transcend it?

    Dwayne Bowie using crooked guard as a way to circumvent direct forces, placing him at a superior angle of attack.

    The Japanese word jujutsu (柔術) is often thought to translate as ‘gentle art.’ Gentle implies a lack of force or lack of strength. Anyone who has ever done any form of jujutsu knows that there is nothing gentle about being thrown, pinned, joint-locked, or choked. In truth, the first character in the word jujutsu, ju (柔), means something closer to supple, yielding, or pliable. This is different than gentle.

    The way a loving mother places a sleeping baby into a crib is gentle. A feather floating aimlessly on the breeze is gentle. Jujutsu is not like this. Borrowing from the origin story of Yoshin-ryu, jujutsu is more similar to what happens to a willow tree when snow lands on its branches. The willow gives way to the snow until the weight becomes too much to bear. Instead of snapping, the willow’s branches simply allow the snow to fall off and then they bounce back to their original shape.

    The willow is supple and pliable, but it is not gentle. Its response to the snow is at first yielding, but the willow becomes quickly and unpredictably violent at exactly the right moment. The willow is not rigid, resisting the snow with all its might. If it did that, its branches would eventually break because that which is rigid is also brittle. The willow is strong precisely because it is pliable and gives way under pressure, but only just enough, and it never give up its integrity.

    In other words, jujutsu is the martial study of methods for winning a battle by not directly opposing force. Instead, jujutsu yields to force, and, at exactly the moment when the enemy feels strongest, shifts violently to a more advantageous angle, attacking where the enemy is weak and without defense. In this way, jujutsu’s effectiveness is not in its opposition to violence. Resistance begets resistance. Jujutsu is actually a means for transcending violence so as to win the battle unopposed.

    Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

    -Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body, Severna Park’s Holistic Chamber of Commerce, and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

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    August 24, 2019
    bjj, brazilian jiu-jitsu, budo, gracie jiu-jitsu, irimi, irimi tenkan, japanese martial arts, jujutsu, Martial Arts, resistance, taikyoku budo, transcendence, violence

  • Changing Our Stories

    We often find ourselves responding to others based on a story from our past instead of being with them in the moment.

    Our perception stems largely from a narrative created in our minds about who we are in the world. This narrative is amalgamated from our personal experiences, our family histories, and our moral and cultural values. As we age, instead of experiencing the people around us and their actions as new and unique, we tend fit them into this story we have made up about ourselves.

    When people behave toward us or around us in a way that reminds us of some past experience, we react to that memory, instead of to the person in front of us. This causes us to relive the same patterns of experience and behavior over and over again, even with new people or in new places. We become trapped in our own story.

    If we want to change our lives, we must begin by changing our perspective, changing the story we tell ourselves about who we are and how we relate to those around us. We cannot erase the past. What we can do is reflect on it, take stock of what storylines we are stuck in, and slowly begin to rewrite our future by not reacting to a memory, but by being present and open with those who we are with now.

    They are not who we remember and neither are we.

    Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

    -Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body, Severna Park’s Holistic Chamber of Commerce, and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

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    August 23, 2019
    be present, beginner’s mind, life, life lessons, memories, openness, stories, the past, understanding

  • True Confidence Begins with Humility

    “That’s the funny thing about confidence: the incorrect amount of it and nothing will ever happen.” —Robert Downey Jr.

    ‘Bamboo Rainstorm’ by Ana

    True confidence requires humility. Humility is the ability to see ourselves objectively, as we are, and to accept and embrace what we see, the good and the bad. Humility keeps us from straying too far into the extremes of over or under confidence.

    To be humble is to be right-sized in our knowledge of ourselves and the way that we present that to the world. Real confidence is the positive mental attitude that comes with humility. It is quit, sincere, and self assured.

    Humility gives us room to move, room to grow, room to be wrong, or even right, and the ability to make adjustments as we learn more about ourselves and the way that we fit, or do not fit, into the world around us. It keeps us moving forward, unburdened by the necessity to maintain false appearances.

    Humility guides us and keeps us in check, so that we can carry ourselves with the kind of confidence that is neither confrontational nor diffident, neither rigid nor fragile. Humility allows us to be strong in the same way that water is strong. It allows us to yield and adapt without ever giving up.

    Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

    -Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body, Severna Park’s Holistic Chamber of Commerce, and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

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    August 22, 2019
    arrogance, beginner’s mind, change, confidence, courage, ego, growing, growth, humility, learning, openness, self pity

  • Friends Cheer Your Wins and Mourn Your Losses

    If someone treats you poorly on a good day, imagine how they are going to treat you when things get difficult.

    The smiles in the back tell the story. Genuine friends are genuinely happy when you are. Dwayne Bowie with Relson Gracie at Kogen Dojo. Photo by Mike Oswald Photography

    We can tell a lot about a person by how they treat us when we are at our best. If we are excited about something, celebrating an accomplishment, or simply just having a great day, the people who truly care about us and support us should rejoice along with us. They should enjoy seeing us happy or successful. They should celebrate our wins with us, even if quietly, or simply with a nod, a fist bump, or a smile.

    There are others who are dismissive of our successes, taking our best moments as an opportunity to put us down, to scoff, or to criticize us. Obviously, constructive criticism from friends is part of friendship and one of the main roles of friendship is to help us to see ourselves objectively and to keep our feet on the ground. This is part of having our backs. Keeping us in check, however, should never involve putting us down when we are truly doing well, when we are living well and reaping the benefits of that.

    How the people closest to us feel about us, talk about us, and treat us when we are on top of the world tells us a lot about how they will behave when we are at our lowest. It will not improve. If they celebrate our wins with us, they will mourn our losses with us. If they mourn our wins, they will celebrate our losses. That is not friendship.

    To paraphrase hip hop emcee GZA, your friends will have your back, but you’ve got to watch your front because it’s the haters who front as your friends that you really need to watch out for.

    Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

    -Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body, Severna Park’s Holistic Chamber of Commerce, and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

    39.073857 -76.547111

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    August 20, 2019
    accomplishment, achievement, celebrating, friends, friendship, haters, losing, losses, mourning, supporters, winning, wins

  • The Good Days Don’t Count

    If our goals are shallow, most likely our commitment will be as well.

    Ike Haertel receiving his black belt from Relson Gracie at Kogen Dojo. Photo by Mike Oswald Photography

    Starting martial arts can be scary. Walking through the door for the first time is a huge step. Once we get started, however, staying can be even more difficult. When our initial motivation wears off, once we reach some short term goal or when we realize that our goals are harder to attain than we had originally imagined, we need to dig deeper inside of ourselves for a reason to continue.

    It’s easy to show up on a good day. There is no discipline needed to stay the course when things are going well. When we are feeling down, when we are frustrated, when we feel like we are not progressing, and especially when we just plain don’t feel like it, that is when showing up matters the most.

    It isn’t really on the good days that we make the most progress. Good days are just good days. It’s when we push through the bad days, when we step on the mats and put in the reps in spite of ourselves, that we make our biggest strides forward, even if we don’t immediately notice. Before we can hope to win against anyone else, we have to first win against our own internal resistance.

    Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

    -Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body, Severna Park’s Holistic Chamber of Commerce, and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

    39.073857 -76.547111

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    August 20, 2019
    achievement, bjj, brazilian jiu-jitsu, comittment, dedication, discipline, effort, goals, hard work, jiu-jitsu, kogen dojo, Martial Arts, showing up

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