Meditations on God

Choosing Change (Facing Trauma)
Our scars remind us how we got here, but they should not dictate where we go next.

Whether internally, externally, or some combination of both, trauma alters us. It changes our shape. It changes the way we move, the way we perceive ourselves and the world, and it changes the way we relate to others.

This change may happen without us even knowing it, without us being aware of it, altering our selves and our lives in ways that we do not truly comprehend. This can go on for years or even decades, shaping our character, driving our decisions, and influencing our relationships.

There may be moments wherein we gain some glimpse into what is really going on with us, what led us to think, behave, and interact with others in the way we do, but knowing this is only the beginning. As important as self-knowledge is, what we do with that knowledge is what matters most.

Once we acknowledge our trauma, once we can point at it, name it, and begin to understand its affect on who we have become, we become responsible for it, not for the trauma itself, but for the way that we wear its scars and the ways in which their influence manifests in us and through us.

By recognizing them for what they are, we give our scars the opportunity to heal. We must choose this, however, and it will not be easy nor will it be fast. It took us a long time to get here, but we have to start somewhere.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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August 7, 2020

change, choice, compassion, growth, life, love, pain, scars, self knowledge, trauma, understanding
With Or Without Us (On Shared Ideas)
Discouragement may be motivation enough to do great work, but it still hurts.

Sharing is an inherently vulnerable act. It opens us up to criticism, disappointment, and discouragement. When we are passionate about an idea, a project, or a goal and we share our excitement with someone else, what are are telling that person is that we trust them.

We are opening up to them, putting the fate of our hope and our joy in their hands, and asking them to care for our dreams the way that we do, or at least to not diminish them, dismiss them, or destroy them.

If our sharing is met with apathy, disdain, or, even worse, mockery, it hurts and it challenges our sincerity. It forces us to question ourselves, our ideas, and our dedication, and it leaves us with a difficult choice to make.

Many great ideas have been given up on because they were met with negativity, but many have also been brought to life in spite of it, or perhaps even because of it.

We should keep this in mind when someone shares an idea, a project, or a goal with us. We should acknowledge the courage and the trust that it took for them to do so and we should be honored that we were considered worthy recipients.

Even if we do not see the value in what is shared, if we value the person who is doing the sharing, it is worth considering that it is their character and intention that needs acknowledgement, support, and reciprocated trust, not necessarily the specific idea, project, or goal.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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August 6, 2020

change, courage, creativity, dreams, goals, ideas, leadership, passion, sharing, support, trust, vulnerability
The Impermanence Of Failure
The only reason we do not act more hastily on our dreams is because we are more afraid of failure than we are of our time running out.

If we take action in the direction of our dreams, whether they be big or small, failure is certainly a possibility. In fact, on our way to success, failure is even quite likely.

If our dreams are big enough, we will face obstacles, stumbling blocks, and pitfalls as we pursue them. As long as we keep trying, however, failure is only temporary.

Conversely, our time is guaranteed to someday run out. Unlike failure, this is inevitable. It will happen whether we act on our dreams or not.

What’s worse, the loss of time is permanent. The permanence of failure, on the other hand, is determined only by our will. Failure is only permanent if we quit trying.

Armed with this information, we must make a decision. We can either accept the mere possibility of failure as enough to hold us back from that which we desire, giving in to the inevitability of time, or we can take a chance with what small amount of time we have left.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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August 5, 2020

achievment, bravery, courage, dreams, failure, goals, opportunity, risk, success, time, vulnerability
Who (Not What) We Want To Be
At some point, we must decide who, not necessarily what, we want to be.

It is quite common to ask children what they want to be when they grow up, but perhaps this is the wrong way to think about life.

While our occupations obviously have a powerful affect on the direction that our lives take, they are not and should not be our life’s primary defining characteristic.

Of course, none of us wants to end up in a career that we hate. Our occupations, after all, occupy a great number of our waking hours and time wasted is time lost.

Likewise, we need to be able to pay our bills, provide for ourselves and our families, and have enough left over so that we can pursue our avocations, hobbies, and passion projects.

But, if we do not know who we are and who we want to be, intellectually, morally, emotionally, and spiritually, we will have no gauge by which to determine if we are on the right course or not.

All too often, people find themselves mid-life questioning their path, their choices, and the ways in which they have spent their years up to that point and, perhaps, if instead of focusing on career, we focused more on character, this would not be the case.

Skills, knowledge, passion, and ambition are all important, but none of these make up for poor character, pliable morality, or unreliability.

The world does not really need more doctors, firefighters, or ballerinas per se.

What the world needs is more good people who do good work, regardless of what field they happen to seek out or fall into.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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August 4, 2020

achievement, ambition, career, character, choices, goals, morality, occupation, path, priorities, success
Increment Progress Over Misguided Momentum (Kaizen)
As important as momentum is to progress, momentum in the wrong direction or in too many directions at once is counterproductive.

We need to break free from the things that are holding us back, whether these are fear, procrastination, distraction, or some other form of internal or external resistance, and get moving in the direction of our personal, occupational, relational, or creative goals.

That is to say, progress requires momentum.

The more momentum we have, the more progress we seem to make and, the more progress we make, the more momentum we seem to have.

This can result in the misguided tendency to conflate the two, but momentum and progress are not the one-in-the-same.

The fact is that momentum, alone, does not necessarily give us the kind of progress we want or need.

While momentum is a powerful tool for change, if not properly informed, focused, and balanced, the change it creates can be be chaotic or even destructive.

It is far better to make slower, steadier, and more careful steps in the right direction than it is to make great leaps in the wrong direction or in too many directions at once.

By focusing on small, incremental progress, we give ourselves room to pivot, to alter or reverse our position and direction if we realize we have made a mistake or that our goals or environment has changed.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.
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August 3, 2020

achievement, aspirations, change, goals, growth, kaizen, momentum, pivoting, priorities, progress, purpose, success

Choosing Change (Facing Trauma)

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With Or Without Us (On Shared Ideas)

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The Impermanence Of Failure

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Who (Not What) We Want To Be

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Increment Progress Over Misguided Momentum (Kaizen)

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