Meditations on God

Damage Adds Texture
It is natural to fear being hurt and even to go to great lengths to avoid it, but pain is inevitable, unavoidable, and necessary for our growth and for the development our character.

Pain, whether physical, psychological, or emotional, is part of what makes us human. Without it, we would have no motivation, we would have no need to create, and we would have no need to connect.

Our damage gives us texture. It gives us depth. It adds layers to who we are and what we are capable of feeling, experiencing, surviving, and sharing.

It is not to be sought out, but neither is it to be avoided. It gives us definition, but it does not need to define us. It makes us who we are, but not who we must always be.

It is the texture that our damage gives us, it is the cracks, the crevices, and the jagged edges we develop over time, that gives the love, the beauty, and the light somewhere to go, something to hold onto, and somewhere to settle and grow.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

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July 8, 2020

connection, creativity, damage, hope, hurt, light, loss, love, pain, texture, tragedy, wabi sabi
The Battle Within
We cannot outthink our hearts.

As much as we may want life to make sense, to be rational, and to be fair and predictable, the reality is that our lives, the way that we view the world, the way we envision the future, and the way we remember our past, is all filtered through, shaped, and colored by our emotions to some degree or another.

Reason is a tool we use to justify or explain the way we experience and interact with the world, but our actual experience of our lives, of ourselves, and of our relationships is emotional.

Beyond reason, beyond explanation, rationalization, and justification, there is an emotional battle for control happening inside of us and between us at all times.

This battle for our hearts, our minds, and our relationships is being fought between the two most powerful forces in the world. These are love and fear.

The degree to which we allow one or the other of these to dictate our thoughts, our actions, and even our logic, is the degree to which we will experience a life of either joy or anguish, abundance or scarcity, and companionship or isolation.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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July 7, 2020

abundance, anguish, companionship, emotions, fear, hearts, isolation, joy, logic, love, minds, reason, relationships, scarcity
To Be Or Not To Be Ourselves
Many of our relationships, whether we like it or not, place restrictions on us that prevent us from being ourselves.

Whether for occupational, familial, or political reasons, we cannot fully open up to everyone, in every way, in every circumstance. If we do, not only will we jeopardize the relationships themselves, but also our reputations and our ability to be effective within those relationships.

If we want to be useful in our relationships, we must have boundaries within them. We must establish which parts of ourselves are appropriate, necessary, and helpful for the circumstance and the company we find ourselves in.

Our employers require different facets of who we are than our spouses do, and our spouses require different parts of who we are than our children or our parents, siblings, or friends do. This is not a matter of inauthenticity, but of appropriateness, courtesy, and respect with regards to ourselves and the actual relationships.

Not everyone should get every part of us. Some aspects of who we are must be held in reserve for those with whom we are closest. Our goal should be to be whichever version of ourself the relationship most needs without sacrificing our integrity in the process.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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July 6, 2020

authenticity, be yourself, boundaries, efficacy, integrity, intimacy, life lessons, professionalism, relationships, self expression, service, usefulness
A Vessel Of Potential
Our flaws, our cracks, and our scars need not diminish our capacity for love, compassion, and creativity.

In spite of how we have been hurt, in spite of how we have been damaged, deceived, abused, or abandoned, we are all capable of boundless love, endless compassion, deep connection, unwavering dedication, and powerful, life-affirming, world-changing creativity.

Each and every one of us is a damaged vessel in some way. No one makes it out of this world unharmed, unhurt, and fully in tact. But, the vessel itself is not the essence of what it contains or is capable of containing.

When we look at each other, when we look at ourselves, we can choose to focus on the flaws, the cracks, and the sharp, jagged edges our experiences have given us. Or, we can choose to see beyond the vessel, to the potential it contains within it, the potential for fullness, for abundance, and for life.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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July 5, 2020

abundance, capacity, compassion, damage, empathy, experience, flaws, fullness, injury, love, pain, potential, scars, vessel
Do You See Heart?
When you look at others, do you see who they are or who they are capable of being?

There is more to who we are than what we think about ourselves.

There is more to who we are than the selves we project into the world.

There is more to who we are than what others think about us, say about us, and project onto us.

There is more to who we are than what fragments of us happen to manifest in our relationships.

Likewise, there is more to others than the way that we perceive them through the filters of our own experience, our ideas, our opinions, our values, and our emotions.

We are all capable of so much more and we should behave accordingly.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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July 4, 2020

abundance, capacity, compassion, creativity, empathy, life, love, perception, potential, relationships

Damage Adds Texture

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The Battle Within

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To Be Or Not To Be Ourselves

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A Vessel Of Potential

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Do You See Heart?

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