One side of integrity faces out into the world and the other faces us.
Outwardly, our integrity is represented by who we are, how we present ourselves to others, what we do, what we say, and how well our actions align with our words and intentions.
Inwardly, our integrity is a measure of what we allow into our lives, our hearts, and our minds, and how we allow the world and its people to affect us, influence us, and change us.
We often think only about the outward manifestation of integrity and forget about its internal aspects.
That is to say, we tend to think only about integrity in terms of what we do and say, but not what we accept, tolerate, and internalize.
In some ways, the external manifestation of our integrity is the easy part.
It is difficult to do perfectly, but it is relatively easy to measure.
Simply put, external integrity is being where we say we are going to be when we say we are going to be there and doing what we said we would do once we arrive.
Our internal integrity is much more complex of an issue because it is extremely personal.
A fulfilling, meaningful, and purpose-driven life demands openness.
In order to live, to really, truly live, we absolutely must be open to new ideas, new experiences, and sensitive to the needs, feelings, and desires of those around us.
But, this is where it gets tricky.
We must be open, compassionate, and sensitive enough to experience the world, our relationships, and our lives in their fullest, deepest, and richest capacities while also not forgetting, losing, and betraying who we are in the process.
Internal integrity is a razor sharp line where we must be just porous enough to feel everything, but with boundaries clear and strong enough to only allow in that which serves us and others through us.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
New ideas are often rejected, not just out of fear, but out of laziness.
The law of inertia applies not only to objects.
It applies to us as well.
When we are at rest, we tend to want to stay at rest.
When we are in motion, we tend to want to stay in motion.
Once an idea, belief, or behavior takes hold of us, as long as appears to be working in our favor, we do not like to change.
Change requires effort.
Change threatens inertia.
It require us to move if we are at rest and it requires us to pause or pivot if we are in motion.
For this reason, it is far easier to continue to do what we have always done and believe what we have always believed than it is to consider a new idea, attitude, or action.
In fact, the mere consideration of something other than what we currently believe or do requires effort.
It is far easier to dismiss that which is new or different outright than it is to entertain the possibility of having to change.
The dismissal of new ideas requires nothing from us.
It allows us to stay the same.
Curiosity, on the other hand, is demanding.
To be curious is to be engaged, involved, and open to the possibility that we are wrong.
To be curious is to embrace change and the opportunities it offers.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
Me: I’m stuck, dear. What should I write about today?
My Daughter: It’s your story. You can write about anything you want.*
Quite often, creative work begins as a flicker of an idea, a spark if you will. Most ideas, like most sparks, if not tended to properly, if not given just the right amount of oxygen and fuel, will die out. With some combination of luck and attentiveness, however, one of these sparks might get exactly what it needs to catch, bursting into a bright, beautiful flame that both warms and lights up the space around it.
Much like a fire, most creative ideas, if they are going to grow into something powerful and useful, require a lot more than one spark before they catch. Every one counts, but most flicker and fade, dying out, seeming to vanish into thin air before finding what they need in order to become something more. For this reason, if we are going to have one great idea, we must have many, many more not-so-great ideas.
We never know which spark or which idea will catch, what it will become, or to where it will lead, so we have to keep trying. Inspiration does not simply come to us. We must seek it, pay attention to it, and nurture it.
*What does this all have to do with the conversation I had with my daughter this morning while she ate her breakfast and I made my coffee? That’s the thing. I do not know. I invited inspiration. It answered. When it did, I gave it attention, fuel, room to breathe, and the result was the result.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
That which we believe has propelled us forward may, in fact, be exactly that which has held us back.
We do not and can not know everything about ourselves or the world we live in. We all hold onto false beliefs as a matter of self-protection because too much truth, regarding our flaws, our fragility, and our failings, revealed too fast, would paralyze us in shock and hopelessness. Out of necessity, we are masters of self deception.
When we make progress in our lives, we tell ourselves all sorts of stories about how we did it, why our methods were effective, and who was responsible for our growth and success. We tell ourselves that we understand the formula and, because both progress and affirmation feel good, we stick with that formula to try to replicate and expand our results. The problem is that, lacking omniscience and objectivity, we often misinterpret the causes of our own success.
There are variables leading up to and driving our success (or failure) that were, and are, totally outside of our control and scope of influence. The circumstances, traits, and behaviors that we believe brought us to this point may actually be exactly the things that are holding us back from progressing forward with exponential results. The more confident and self-assured we feel, the more we should step back to consider the fact that we may be missing something crucial and that the truths we cling to may actually be anchors pulling us down and holding us back.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Meditations on God 