Meditations on God

The Winding Path To Contentment
It is okay to admit that the things we thought would make us happy, in fact, do not.

Every single one of us has a story, perhaps even several, that we tell ourselves, about what our ideal life might look like. We think, if only we could have or experience this or that, we would be happy. We tell ourselves, and maybe others, if only the circumstance, occupation, or relationships we are in were different, we would have peace or freedom or success.

The problem is that sometimes we get exactly what we thought we wanted or needed and find ourselves no more happy, no more content, and no more at peace than we were before. Quite often, instead of admitting and accepting that our circumstances are not the cause of or the cure for our internal state, we simply change our story to cast blame on some other external variable, disregarding the fact that we are the constant in the equation.

If only we were able to admit to ourselves that we were wrong, that our desires were based on false assumptions, that our limited knowledge and experience did not allow us to see the full picture, and that this is not a tragedy, but a blessing, we would find ourselves able to make progress.

It is okay to be wrong, to change our minds based on new, more accurate information, and it is okay to change course mid-journey if we find ourselves at an impasse. What is not okay is to keep going in the wrong direction in spite of ourselves, in spite of what we know to be true, and in spite of what our hearts are telling us we need.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

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July 18, 2020

contentment, desires, dreams, happiness, hopes, life, needs, peace, wants, wishes
Attention To Distraction Is Attention Wasted
Trying to solve the world’s problems is a great distraction from doing the work that actually matters.

Every moment spent trying to fix the world outside of our reach is time, energy, and attention not given to our personal lives, our relationships, and our community.

Every moment spent focused on perceived problems beyond our control or influence is time, energy, and attention not given to our calling, our purpose, and our unique contribution to the world.

Our families need us, our communities need us, and our dreams needs us.

Time is fleeting. Energy misspent is easily exhausted. Attention is precious, limited, and non-retrievable once given away.

We must not waste what we have on that which we cannot affect.

There is nothing out there that needs our effort, our attention, our thoughts, our feelings, or our insight more than our loved ones do, more than our communities do, or more than our work does, whether our work is personal, communal, creative, or some combination of these.

In order to give our time, energy, and attention to something or someone, we must turn away and take it away from something or someone else.

This should be a conscious, measured, and intentional decision not an accidental and careless distraction.

Our limited resources should not be wasted on problems or people that did not or do not want or need our help, especially if we cannot actually help them.

We cannot contribute to, collaborate with, or create that which matters most if our focus is being given to every next, loudest distraction that comes our way.

The distractions will not stop. The onus is on us to pause, turn away, and refocus.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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July 17, 2020

attention, calling, community, distraction, dreams, energy, family, focus, goals, mission, priorities, prioritizing, purpose, time, work
The Responsibility To Try
Healing occurs in the effort.

It is okay to fail. Not all things will work out the way we want or hope. As much as our efforts and our intentions matter, they play only a small part in determining the final outcome of our circumstances and our relationships.

In spite of our perceptions or desires, we actually have influence over a finite number of variables in our lives. In fact, the variables over which we have some semblance of control are quite often outnumbered and outweighed by those things over which we have no control or influence whatsoever.

Regardless of how well prepared we are, regardless of how we show up, behave, or perform, life happens, circumstances change, our environment changes, and people change or are not who we imagined them to be.

All we can do is to do our best with what resources we have available to us. Sometimes, maybe most of the time, our best is not good enough to make things work out the way we desire or imagine they should.

But, it is in doing our best through perceived failure that we learn who we are and who we are not. It is in coming up short with our best effort that we discover where we are strong, where we are weak, and where we must improve.

More importantly, however, it is by showing up, by committing, and by giving our all that we give ourselves the means by which to heal from our past mistakes or misperceptions, especially once we realize that not every failure in our life was or is our fault.

Some things simply can not and perhaps should not work out the way we want. The burden we bear is the responsibility to try, but we must free ourselves from and forgive ourselves for that which does not work out beyond our control.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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July 16, 2020

change, control, desire, effort, failure, grace, healing, influence, intention, learning, life, relationships, responsibility, success, wants, wishes
Be The Relational Variable
Every moment is an opportunity to change our fate.

Simply because we have experienced something painful or traumatizing in a specific circumstance or relationship does not mean that every circumstance or relationship that resembles that experience will result in the same pain or trauma.

But, we also cannot hope for things to be different on their own.

We cannot expect our environments to adapt to our needs, wants, or desires without our active participation. We must be the variable. We must be the change we want to create and we must be that change constantly, consistently, and diligently in order for it to have any lasting effect on our future.

If we want a circumstance or a relationship to produce a different, more desirable outcome than it has in the past, the onus is on us to change. The onus is on us to show up differently.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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July 15, 2020

adaptation, change, choice, destiny, environment, fate, improvement, patterns, relationships, transcendence
Distracting Ourselves (To Excuse Ourselves)
If we have goals we want to achieve and the means by which to achieve them, the greatest battle we face from day to day is the battle against distraction.

Quite often, what stands between us and our goals is clarity, time, and resources. That is, our goals are not clearly defined, measurable, and realistic, we have too many other commitments and, therefore, have no time to work toward what we want to achieve, and/or we do not have enough money or support to do the things we want to do.

When this is the case, it is easy to be a disappointed daydreamer, hoping and wishing things were different, telling ourselves that, if only our circumstances changed for the better, we would do great things. Or, maybe we use these undesirable conditions as fuel for our internal fire, as the thing that drives us to improve, to set goals, and to work toward them a little bit at a time until we are in a better position to achieve them.

Regardless of how we get there, once we are in the clear, however, once our circumstances change in our favor and we gain clarity, we find the time, and our financial or community resources fall into place, we face an entirely new challenge. Our previous excuses no longer bear weight and we must face ourselves and the possibility of success in whatever goal, dream, or aspiration we once claimed to have.

With nothing stopping us from the outside, now we have to make a decision. We can either follow our hearts toward that which we having been pining over or we can forget what once seemed to matter so much and take on a new set of of excuses and distractions that will keep us from going after what we desire.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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July 14, 2020

achievement, aspirations, desire, distractions, dreams, drive, excuses, goals, motivation, obstacles, priorities

The Winding Path To Contentment

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Attention To Distraction Is Attention Wasted

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The Responsibility To Try

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Be The Relational Variable

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Distracting Ourselves (To Excuse Ourselves)

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