Be The Relational Variable

Every moment is an opportunity to change our fate.

Simply because we have experienced something painful or traumatizing in a specific circumstance or relationship does not mean that every circumstance or relationship that resembles that experience will result in the same pain or trauma.

But, we also cannot hope for things to be different on their own.

We cannot expect our environments to adapt to our needs, wants, or desires without our active participation. We must be the variable. We must be the change we want to create and we must be that change constantly, consistently, and diligently in order for it to have any lasting effect on our future.

If we want a circumstance or a relationship to produce a different, more desirable outcome than it has in the past, the onus is on us to change. The onus is on us to show up differently.


Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

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