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Meditations on God

  • Robert Van Valkenburgh

  • Writing Our Hero’s Tale

    We tell ourselves all sorts of stories about what we cannot do and why. 

    While some of this may be true, much of it is self-imposed by us through the narrative we have created in our minds about our own limitations. 

    These stories come from our experiences, but our experiences do not dictate our potential. 

    There is more to us than that which has happened to us. 

    We may not be able to change everything about who we are, but we do have a say in who we become. 

    We can change our minds and the best way to do so is through action. 

    The closer we get to that which we most want to change, the louder and more convincing our internal resistance will become. 

    We will have to face the darkest and most difficult parts of ourselves if we want to change and grow. 

    We will feel doubt, worry, and frustration with ourselves, with our circumstances, and with the obstacles we perceive in our path. 

    When we do, we can rest assured that we are headed in the right direction. 

    It is in these moments that our true characters are defined. 

    We can continue to believe the stories we have told ourselves about our limitations or we can choose to write a new story for ourselves, one wherein we are the brave hero we are capable of being. 

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    July 4, 2021
    obstacles, potential, resistance

  • Proximity And Similarity

    Proximity does not indicate similarity. 

    Just because we are physically close to someone and may even spend a great deal of time with them, does not mean that we necessarily share the same outlook, values, or morals with them. 

    We may be near them because we have to be. 

    Maybe we live with them, work with them, or simply share some common space with them on a regular basis. 

    When there is a significant variation in values between us and the people we regularly spend time with, it is extremely important that we maintain internal boundaries so that we do not lose our bearing within our relationships. 

    Differences are not necessarily bad. 

    In fact, quite often, our differences are what make our relationships interesting, engaging, and valuable to our collective lives. 

    However, when these differences are so fundamental as to have a negative impact on our core being, we need to maintain a strict psycho-emotional separation for the sake of our own integrity. 

    It is sometimes better to keep our integrity and lose our relationships than to lose our integrity and keep our relationships. 

    We will likely come to find that, by taking the former path, new, better relationships develop in place of the old, unhealthy ones we let go of. 

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    July 3, 2021
    differences, ethics, integrity, morals, outlook, values

  • Failing Forward

    It is quite alright to make the same mistakes over and over again as long as we learn a little bit from those mistakes each time we make them.

    Instead of thinking of this as failure, we should simply consider it data collection. 

    The important thing, however, is that we learn so that we make these mistakes less severely each time. 

    If we make the same mistakes over and over again without taking any lessons from them, they are nothing more than mistakes. 

    If, on the other hand, each time we make these mistakes, we take an inventory of what happened, what we could have done better, and how to improve, even if our improvement does not come quickly, we will push forward nonetheless. 

    The goal, after all, is not to never make mistakes or to never fail at all, but to make better mistakes and to fail forward. 

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    July 2, 2021
    failure, goals, growth, mistakes, progress

  • What Needs To Change

    When one thing in our lives causes us the majority of our difficulty, discomfort, or distress, we must ask ourselves whether it is that thing or us that needs to change. 

    This means we must determine how important this aspect of our life is to us. 

    Is it essential or nonessential? 

    Can we live without it or does our livelihood, security, and well-being depend on it? 

    Is it something we hold onto because we must or do we resist letting it go simply because it is easier to do nothing than to make a change? 

    Is this the hill we want to die on or should we move on and save our resources for a more important battle down the road? 

    No one can answer these questions for us. 

    We must have the self-honesty and courage to not only face the truth, but to take the necessary action to follow through on that truth once we have accepted it. 

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    July 1, 2021
    change, choices, life, truth

  • Choice And Fate

    If something happens to us that we could not predict, control, or change, even if it has negative longterm consequences, it does not serve us to feel bad about it. 

    Neither regret, guilt, nor shame will alter what happened. 

    Wishing it would have or could have gone differently does not bring us back in time. 

    Even if it did, what would we do? 

    If we had no say in the matter in the first place, what makes us think we would be able to change it now? 

    Even with our present knowledge, powerlessness is powerlessness. 

    What could not be changed, can not be changed. 

    We are who we are. 

    What happened happened. 

    Life is a strange alchemy of choice and fate. 

    It is impossible to know which of these is really in charge of our destinies. 

    Even with this being so, we must do our best to be better tomorrow than we are today because of what happened to us yesterday. 

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    June 30, 2021
    choice, destiny, fate, guilt, regret, shame

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