We cannot be all things to all people and still be effective.
We all want this world to be a better place for ourselves, our families, and our loved ones.
We want the future to be better than the past.
We want to leave this life knowing that it is better for us having been here.
If we are sincere about these desires, we want to be helpful.
We want to be of service where, when, how, and to whom we can.
But, part of maturing as a human is acknowledging, understanding, and embracing our limitations.
Each and every one of us has limited resources with which we can effect change and we must choose wisely how we use those resources because some of them, especially our time and our attention, are non-renewable.
Once given away, we do not get them back.
We must, therefore, determine for ourselves, often through trial and error, though many attempts and many failures, where the limits of our efficacy, the boundaries of our responsibility, and the edges of our obligation lie.
We have to learn to respect and accept the fact that a lot of people in this world need help, but not they do not all necessarily need our help.
There are many, many problems in this life that need to be solved, but they do not necessarily need to be solved by us.
From day to day, there is an endless number of tasks that need to be completed, but they need not all be completed by us.
As difficult as it is to remember with our modern-day, globalized consciousness, effective, positive change begins at home, however we may define that for ourselves.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
Stress is energy directed inward that would be more usefully directed toward that which we want to accomplish, achieve, or affect.
This does not mean that we should displace our stress outwardly.
Stress directed outwardly tends to manifest as anger, frustration, and all other forms of counterproductive negativity.
By the time we feel stressed, we have already mismanaged, misguided, and misdirected the external forces acting on us such that they are now acting against us.
We need to learn how to effectively deal with the forces coming at us that cause us to feel stressed before they become stress.
This means we must learn how to better manage ourselves, our space, and our priorities in a way that does not allow external forces to negatively affect us.
This requires integrity, flexibility, and focus.
When we feel stressed by the goings on in our lives, before simply accepting that life is stressful or thinking the world must change in order to accommodate our mental-emotional needs, it would be far more productive to look at ourselves and where we are lacking in one of these three ways.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
We cannot control all aspects of life, nor should we expect ourselves to be able to.
A lot of things come at us from day to day, probably more than we can effectively address, manage, or resolve.
That is okay.
Trying to solve every perceived problem, complete every task, and make progress in every direction of our lives all at once will inevitably lead to frustration, overwhelm, and undue amounts of stress because, simply put, it is an impossible task.
In fact, it is a fool’s errand to even try.
Instead of focusing on completion, closure, and resolution in all things, we must learn to focus on progress with regards to those things that matter most.
The goal, after all, is not simply to get things done, but to get things done that make a difference, that move us forward, and that change our lives and the lives of those around us for the better.
This requires that we direct as much of our attention, our effort, and our energy as we can on the people, places, and things that not only need us most, but that we can most greatly and positively affect.
This becomes much more difficult if and when we take on stress associated with things we cannot or should not try to manage, control, or change.
Progress requires efficacy and efficacy requires discernment.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
Meditations on God 