Tag: life

• Loving Action (Father’s Day)

  Being around is not the same as being present.

  

  Love, if it is not some hollow sentiment, is inextricably tied to duty.

  Love is a promise that requires action in order to be demonstrated, proven, and fulfilled.

  Love’s claim is a debt owed. It is a pledge of time, both in quantity and quality. It is the assurance of presence, attention, and engagement regardless of, or even in spite of, inconvenience.

  To say that we love another person is to imply that we are doing something to love them. They do not have to notice it. They do not have to reciprocate. They are not the ones making the claim. We are.

  If our love is more than just a feeling or a word, we must behave in a way that is loving.

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  Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

  Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

  All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

  Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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  June 21, 2020

  affection, attention, attentiveness, childhood, children, debt, duty, family, father’s day, life, love, parenthood, parenting, presence, promise

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• Our Occupations Are For Service

  We must find a balance between the ways in which we serve our communities and the ways in which we serve our hearts’ callings.

  

  When people are challenged with the idea that they should do what they love, many automatically assume this necessarily refers to their occupation. This is a patently false assumption, however. Doing what we love is more of a private, personal responsibility to ourselves than it is an occupational goal per se.

  Our occupations are the means by which we serve the needs of our communities in exchange for sustenance, usually in the form of money that we use to feed, house, and clothe ourselves and our families. In order for others to be willing to pay us for our skills, knowledge, or expertise, they must first need those things from us more than they need their money.

  The work we are paid for revolves more around the needs of others than it does around our own personal desires. Simply put, if there is no public need for the work we do, we do not have a job. For this reason, our occupations may not in fact have anything to do with our personal happiness, fulfillment, or enjoyment.

  Doing what we love, then, is a personal matter. It means that we are responsible for finding a balance between the needs of the community that pays us for our service while also serving the calling of our hearts in a way that gives our lives meaning, purpose, and fulfillment. If our service to both our communities and our heart’s calling happen to overlap, we are fortunate indeed, but, if they do not, we should not mourn.

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  Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

  Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

  All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

  Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

  If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.

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  June 17, 2020

  achievement, calling, career, community, goals, jobs, life, love, occupation, passion, priorities, purpose, service, stoic, stoicism, success, work

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• The Balance Of Give And Take

  Some people are natural givers and others are natural takers, but both extremes can be equally destructive if not properly balanced with their opposite.

  

  When we describe someone as a taker, a person who is uncompromisingly selfish and who demands more of a relationship than he or she is willing to give back to it, there is often a negative connotation attached to the image we conjure of this person. Conversely, we often think of a giver, someone who is all too willing to compromise for others and who appears to consistently give more than he or she takes from a relationship, as an inherently positive archetype.

  In reality, however, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually healthy people are some balanced combination of both of these extremes.

  The reasons we dislike, distrust, and even despise selfish people are somewhat obvious when we consider the fact that humans are inherently tribal creatures. A person who takes more than he or she gives back to the tribe is essentially an enemy to the tribe’s overall health and well-being, like a cancer that must be cut out of the body before it metastasizes.

  An extreme giver, on the other hand, in spite of the way we usually think about such people, is actually just as detrimental to the tribe as the extreme taker. A person who gives away more of themselves and their resources than they gather or harvest, who overextends themselves and the group, making everyone more vulnerable, is also an enemy to the tribe, like an open wound that must be sealed or cauterized so that the body does get infected or bleed out.

  The tribe, in order for it to survive and thrive, must function as a cohesive unit wherein, ideally, each member never takes or demands more than they give and, also, wherein each member never gives away or offers up more than they gather or harvest. In order for the tribe to be at its best, it and its members, must be in balance.

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  Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

  Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

  All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

  Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

  If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.

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  June 14, 2020

  altruism, balance, community, family, friendship, giving, life, selfishness, survival, taking, thriving, tribe

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• Play More (To Be More Human)

  “If we can play together, then we can live together.“
  —Cas Holman, ‘Abstract: The Art of Design’

  

  As children, play is our primary learning mechanism, both as a solo and a group activity. Play is how we learn to move, to experiment, and to socialize. As we get older, many of us seem to forget the importance of play as a gateway to personal and creative growth, stress relief, and interpersonal connectivity, but, in reality, we never stop needing it.

  As the years go on, we take on, or are given, more and more responsibilities. The pressure of these responsibilities often takes precedence over our desire or our ability to simply let go, to have fun, to enjoy ourselves in the innocence, purity, and joyfulness that is play. On top of this, we get distracted and drawn in by outside forces telling us what play should look like as adults, that it should be organized, materialistic, or even chemically aided, but the reality is that play is whatever we want it to be as long as it is both fun and physical.

  Play is a physically, emotionally, and psychologically, immersive, expressive, and freeing experience unlike anything else available to us as humans. It is an outlet for our bodies and our minds to express themselves without fear, preconception, or expectation, and it is also a source of input through which we learn and grow as individuals and as members of a tribe. Regardless of our age, gender, or social status, play is an essential and necessary aspect of human existence that taps into our primal natures as physical, creative beings and also as social animals.

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  Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

  Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

  All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

  Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

  If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.

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  May 26, 2020

  adulthood, children, community, creativity, education, essential, experimentation, fun, growth, human nature, Inspiration, joy, learning, life, play, practice, primal

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• A Garden Of Words And Deeds

  “Never let the weeds get higher than the garden. Always keep a sapphire in your mind. Always keep a diamond in your mind.”
  —Tom Waits

  

  All of the little things we do and say each day add up, but so do all of the little things we do not do and do not say. The goal is to do and say only those things that add positivity and value to our lives and the lives of others and to not do and not say the things that increase negativity and detract value from our lives and the lives of others. In other words, if we want a life that is fruitful and filled with beauty, we must behave and speak in a way that is most conducive with that result.

  Of course, as we move toward better behavior, a better outlook, and a better life, old ideas, attitudes, and habits will crop up. When they do, the sooner we recognize them, root out their cause, and work to resolve them, the easier it will be to overcome them in the future. This requires honesty, both with ourselves and with those around us, and it also requires diligence.

  Much like a garden, a healthy, positive, and productive life does not grow itself. It requires effort, attention, nourishment, and protection. Also like a garden, we are not solely responsible for all that goes right or all that goes wrong in our lives, but we are responsible for the way that we prepare for and respond to these things.

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  Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

  Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

  All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

  Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

  If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.

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  May 16, 2020

  attention, deeds, garden, gardening, get behind the mule, intention, life, mule variations, negativity, optimism, positivity, protection, tom waits, value, words

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