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Meditations on God

  • Robert Van Valkenburgh

  • Generosity Toward The Selfish

    Before criticizing a person who is selfish to the point of hurtfulness, consider how much fear and insecurity that person must have to believe that the only way to get ahead in life is to do so in spite of others.

    Selfishness, especially when taken to the extreme, is the outward manifestation of fear. It is rooted in the fear of being alone, unloved, and unsupported by a larger community, the fear of scarcity, that there is not or will not be enough, and the fear that we live in a world wherein we must ultimately fend for ourselves.

    For a person who was raised to believe that we should be generous, giving, and community-focused, it may be difficult to understand how and why another person can only think about his or herself to the point of actually hurting others. To this person, such selfishness may even seem immoral.

    Being truly generous, however, means not only giving of oneself, one’s time, and one’s wealth, no matter how little of each of these one has in excess. At a deeper level, generosity means having a generous spirit. This means trying to understand others, giving them the benefit of the doubt and room to be themselves, no matter how flawed they may be, and forgiving them for these flaws because they may not actually be their fault, just like our outlook on life is not solely the result of our own decisions either.


    Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

    Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, as well as a founding member of the Severna Park and Baltimore Holistic Chamber of Commerce.

    Artwork by Ana, except where otherwise noted.

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    December 10, 2019
    community, empathy, fear, forgiveness, generosity, love, selfishness

  • Distance for Self-Protection

    Some of us need to protect ourselves from other people’s problems and personalities, and that’s okay.

    There are certain people who are empathetic to the point that they find it difficult to maintain boundaries between other people’s emotions and their own. They feel other people’s problems as if they are theirs as well. Depending on how these feelings manifest, are processed, and managed, this can either be a powerful tool by which to serve others or it can be like poison, eating the person alive from the inside out.

    In order to not be totally overwhelmed by other people’s emotions, whether positive or negative, it is important for these people to learn how to manage physical space and distance for themselves. In order to maintain their own emotional and psychological integrity, they must, at times, distance themselves from certain people and situations, lest they lose sight of who they are and become overwhelmed by their surroundings.

    These people are the types who, if they are not careful, will willingly, even if sometimes unknowingly, sacrifice their lives, their health, and their best interests for the sake of serving the emotional, physical, and psychological needs of those around them. Obviously, such loving service is necessary to the world, as long as it is healthy. Since not all relationships are healthy, however, for their own emotional, physical, and mental well-being, such empathic people must take caution with regards to who they associate with, where, and for how long.


    Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

    Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, as well as a founding member of the Severna Park and Baltimore Holistic Chamber of Commerce.

    Artwork by Ana, except where otherwise noted.

    If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.

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    December 9, 2019
    boundaries, distance, emotional health, empathy, healthy living, space

  • On Conflict and Calm

    Before jumping into another person’s battle, first ask yourself whether or not their cause is righteous and just, and whether or not they actually need your help.

    In a day and age where so much conflict is public and publicized, it is easier than ever to find ourselves leaping to the defense of a friend, an acquaintance, or even a stranger with whom we think we agree. We have forgotten that conflict should be withheld for when it is inevitable, unavoidable, and only absolutely necessary. Furthermore, we have forgotten that most conflict, real or imagined, is more easily resolved without our added participation.

    Conflict is a destructive force that requires time and energy, both of which are finite resources, that could otherwise be spent doing something creative and helpful. Beyond that, conflict, even virtual conflict, has real consequences. No one leaves the other side conflict, whether entered voluntarily or involuntarily, unscathed and unaffected in some way.

    We should not turn our backs and look the other way when someone, especially someone we care about, truly needs our assistance. Nor should we sacrifice our integrity and back down, give up, or give in simply to avoid conflict. We should, however, practice calm restraint and reserve our time and energy for those rare instances when conflict is totally unavoidable, when the cause for which we would be fighting is worthy of our sacrifice, and for when our participation would potentially lead to resolution, not simply more conflict.


    Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

    Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

    Artwork by Ana, except where otherwise noted.

    If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.

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    December 7, 2019
    battle, calm, conflict, fighting, helping, justice, righteousness, service

  • Communicating for Understanding

    To communicate is not merely to speak, but to be heard, and, more so, to be understood.

    Artwork by Ana

    Often, we believe that simply by expressing ourselves that we are communicating. The problem is that communication is a two-way street. That which is expressed must actually be understood by the recipient in order for communication to have actually happened.

    This means that, if we truly want to communicate, we must consider our audience and how they hear what we want to say. More is required of us than just talking or writing. We must be sensitive to the needs of the listener or reader, if we want that which we are trying to communicate to be comprehended in a useful, preferably actionable, way.

    If we want to be heard and understood, we must become who the listener needs us to be. When we sense that our point is not getting across, we have to be willing to pause, reassess, and adjust our approach. In order to accomplish this, we must remain flexible, adaptable, and, most importantly, empathetic.


    Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

    Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

    Artwork by Ana, except where otherwise noted.

    If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.

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    December 5, 2019
    communicating, communication, empathy, understanding

  • Truth and Peace

    Peace is found beyond belief, within the grey areas of truth and contradiction.

    Artwork by Ana

    Living with a mindset that rejects contradictions to our perceived truth puts us in a constant state of conflict, both internally and externally. It puts us in a place where we are reactionary towards that which disagrees with what we hold true. In this reactionary state, it is impossible to know peace.

    In actuality, peace is found beyond this type of dualistic thinking. It is found beyond perceived truth, and within the very contradictions themselves. It is found in the acceptance that, within the grey area between our truth and that which contradicts it, lies something deeper, a mystery incomprehensible to our conscious minds.

    By embracing this mystery, by accepting that truth is better experienced than known, we can approach each moment with openness and wonder. It is within this childlike state that we can find contentment and joy, free from the shackles of opinion and belief. It is within this state of freedom, openness, and wonder that we can find peace.


    Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

    Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

    Artwork by Ana, except where otherwise noted.

    If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.

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    December 4, 2019
    belief, contentment, contradiction, duality, peace, truth, wonder

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