Meditations on God

Looking For Strength In Others
It is quite possible that the things that bother us most about others are actually their strengths.

As we get to know people, certain qualities in their character, personality, and demeanor begin to stand out.

We start to notice patterns of attitude, belief, and behavior, that seem to repeat over and over again.

Inevitably, over time, some of these patterns we observe in others, especially those closest to us, will begin to rub us the wrong way.

We will not like everything we see in them or experience in ourselves when we are around them.

This is especially true if we, ourselves, are particularly observant and sensitive.

One thing to keep in mind, however, is that these attributes brought that person this far.

These attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors enabled that person to survive in an often cold, cruel, and dangerous world up until this point.

Looked at in this way, it is worth considering that those things we do not like in them are actually what make them strong, resilient, and powerful in their own right.

Maybe it is that which bothers us that we should actually be thankful for because this person may not be here with us now if it were not this exact trait.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Kogen Dojo Self Defense Academy where he teaches Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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October 6, 2020

compassion, empathy, fortitude, perspective, relationships, resilience, strength, survival, understanding, weakness
The Responsibility Of A Gift
We each have something unique and powerful to offer the world.

Once we know what that is, it is imperative that we do it justice by giving it the focus, attention, and energy it deserves.

There will be distractions.

Other people, activities, and agendas will require our attention.

This is all part of the process.

We should not ignore those who need us for the sake of that which we are called to do.

We cannot use our path or our purpose to abdicate responsibility in the rest of our lives.

At the same time, we also cannot allow ourselves to get so caught up in the needs of others that our purpose is neglected.

As much as others need us, or perhaps even more, our purpose needs us as well.

Our path is ours, alone.

No one can walk it for us.

Our purpose is ours, alone.

No one can fulfill it as our poxy.

The onus is on us to make the time, to muster up the energy, and to create the means.

The responsibility is ours to find the way, to do the work, and to share our gift.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Kogen Dojo Self Defense Academy where he teaches Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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October 5, 2020

achievement, community, family, gift, goals, journey, path, purpose, responsibility, sharing, success, way
A Path Of Purpose
If our aim is to be of service, one of the pitfalls we must learn to avoid is conflating other people’s agendas with our actual purpose.

The desire to serve, regardless of what form that service takes, requires us to be somewhat sensitive to the needs and desires of those to whom we are trying to be of service.

If we are to be truly useful, however, this sensitivity needs to be balanced with an unwavering clarity of purpose.

We have to know why, to whom, and in what way we are trying to be of service.

This also means understanding and accepting that any ideas and agenda that pulls us away from our purpose are a distraction from that purpose.

Divergence from our path diminishes our usefulness along that path.

In order to maintain our bearing, we must establish boundaries and learn to protect them.

We must learn to say no to distractions.

And, we must learn to do so with tact and grace because our goal is to be of service, after all, not to be cruel or dismissive.

By always referring back to our purpose, we give ourselves a standard through which to make our decisions.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Kogen Dojo Self Defense Academy where he teaches Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.
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October 4, 2020

bearing, boundaries, helpfulness, integrity, journey, mission, path, purpose, service, usefulness
Not Alone (Together In Suffering)
Knowing that one other person feels the way we do is often enough to initiate our healing.

We all struggle with something.

Whether it is personal, professional, or relational, none of us is exempt from difficulty, from trouble, or from conflict.

We all have fears, frustrations, and insecurities.

We all have our own demons in some shape or form.

Some of us cover them up so well that even we forget that they are there, lurking beneath the surface, waiting to be summoned by a moment of weakness.

Some of us wear them on our sleeve, a raw nerve and open wound for the world to see and feel.

Some of us hide them from others and struggle in silence, a self divided between the facade that is presented outwardly and the truth we live with inside of ourselves.

But, we all have our struggles, our scars, and our trauma.

We all feel alone sometimes.

We all feel lost sometimes.

We all feel overwhelmed sometimes.

None of us is exempt from weakness, pain, or sadness.

It is important to know this.

It is important to know that others feel the way we do.

It is important to know that we are not alone, that, while the exact details of our suffering may be unique to us, the feeling we are experiencing is something that we all share in some small or large way.

It is important to know that healing is possible as long as we keep showing up.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Kogen Dojo Self Defense Academy where he teaches Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.
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October 3, 2020

compassion, depression, empathy, love, pain, struggling, suffering, trauma
Criticism Is A Gift
Seize upon every opportunity for improvement.

In every relationship, whether platonic, romantic, or professional, inevitably, some aspect of our character or behavior will come into question as needing improvement.

No one is perfect.

We all have things, whether they be personality or performance based, that we can, and even should, improve upon for the sake of the relationship.

When given constructive feedback or even outright criticism, it is important that we do not take it personally, even if it is intended to be, in fact, personal.

This is obviously quite difficult.

Criticism, even when friendly or helpful, can feel like judgement.

It can feel as if we are not good enough, as if all of our efforts are insufficient, and as if there is no hope for us to be liked, loved, or accepted.

We are being asked, or even told, to change, after all.

That rarely, if ever, feels good.

In spite of our feelings, criticism is actually a gift.

It is an opportunity to see ourselves from the outside.

It is an opportunity to be better than we were yesterday.

And, it is an opportunity to be of service in ways we are incapable of with only our own perspective as reference.

We have nothing to lose and everything to gain in self improvement, especially when it is in service to others.

Even if the relationship does not work out, at least we grew because of it, at least we are better because of it, and at least we know that we did our best.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Kogen Dojo Self Defense Academy where he teaches Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.
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October 2, 2020

benefit, change, criticism, evolution, gift, growth, improvement, opportunity, relationships

Looking For Strength In Others

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The Responsibility Of A Gift

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A Path Of Purpose

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Not Alone (Together In Suffering)

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Criticism Is A Gift

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