My Heavenly Father
has pulled me away
from the dark shores
of damnation
and led me in faith
across the bridge of love
paid for by his sacrifice
that I may live out my days
in the light of salvation
no matter what
storms may come
ACROSS THE BRIDGE
By Robert Van Valkenburgh
‘Meditations of a Gentle Warrior’ at http://www.holisticbudo.com
To read my longer writing, visit my blog ‘Grappling With Divinity’ at http://www.robertvanvalkenburgh.com
Spiritual unrest
the disease of the soul
can not be healed
through worldy ideas
or worldly ways
that which makes you sick
cannot heal you of itself
you must go deeper
there is a solution for your despair
a promise of hope
peace and comfort
but you must first surrender
your pride
your fears
and your personal desires
to the Healer of souls
the Creator of souls
the God of love
who has sacrificed His love for you
HEALER OF SOULS
By Robert Van Valkenburgh
Meditations of a Gentle Warrior
To read my longer writing, subscribe at robertvanvalkenburgh.com
Being used is not the same as being of service.
If you have a generous spirit, you have to take some measures to protect it.
Generosity without boundaries is unsustainable.
Giving to people who only take will wear you down over time.
This, in turn, will make you less useful to those who actually need your help.
Be of service where and when you can, but don’t tolerate being taken advantage of.
When you sacrifice your time, energy, and attention to people or causes that don’t matter, you have less of yourself to give to the people and causes that do.
The essence of motherliness is to do for others with a spirit of love, generosity, and protection.
When we first opened Kogen Dojo, one of the primary considerations was how to best serve the female members of our community, especially the mothers to our community’s children. For context, all three of the founders of Kogen are men, but we are also sons, husbands (or have been at one time), and fathers to daughters. As such, we decided it would be best to consult with a woman who was not only a mother and Brazilian jiu-jitsu practitioner, but who also taught women’s self-defense classes at our affiliate headquarters.
Our discussions included questions about how to attract more women to martial arts, what to teach in women’s-only classes, and some of the barriers women faced in wanting to try martial arts, even if simply for self-defense. When the discussion turned to the subject of scheduling, Jen, the woman with whom we were consulting, said something that struck me and continues to be food for thought for me to this day. She said, “It is difficult for a mother to commit to self-defense classes because she will always put the needs of her family ahead of her own.”
She went on to explain that, even if a mother committed to and paid for a regularly scheduled class for herself, if a scheduling conflict arose wherein she had to choose between her own activity and some activity or event for her family, she would almost always put her family’s needs ahead of her own. I am reminded of this sentiment often when I think about what it means for a woman to be a mother, what it means for a person to be so loving and so generous as to regularly sacrifice her needs and her interests in order to care for, nurture, and protect her loved ones. I am also reminded that those who do so much for others also deserve the same from us.
Thank you and Happy Mother’s Day!
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted. Artwork by Ana.
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Quite often, our love is measured in sacrifice.
When we think about what love means, it is easy to conjure ideas about all of the things we give and receive in its name. We imagine the time, energy, and emotion that we put into our relationships and, in the same thought, we imagine how that investment is or will be reciprocated. Love, we imagine, is a two-way street, a limitless cycle of giving and receiving for mutual benefit.
We know that when we give of ourselves to those we love, we will feel good about having done so. Beyond that, we know that witnessing the joy of those we love when they receive what we have to offer will uplift us even further. And yet, within this giving, there is also the natural hope that it will not be one-sided and that we will benefit from such care, kindness, and generosity returned back to us in some form or another.
While both giving and even receiving are essential facets of any loving relationship, it is actually what we are willing to give up for others with no expectation of reciprocity that is the true measure, and also the true test, of our love. Love’s deepest and most raw, even painful, manifestation is self-sacrifice. In order for such sacrifices to truly come from a place of love, however, they can not be demanded of us, they can not be manipulated out of us, and they can not be negotiated for because love, in its purest form, is an informed, willful decision to give.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.
Meditations on God 