Meditations on God

Doing No Wrong Does Not Equate To Living Right
Is it enough to simply do no wrong?

Years ago, in what seems like a different life altogether, I was dating a woman who was a few years older than me. Our relationship started under unusual circumstances I will not get into, but we were together for the better part of a year. That year taught me a lot about myself and some of my more self destructive relationship patterns involving my attraction to what I will politely call damsels in distress.

After some time together, with various, but extreme ups and downs, she advised me that she was breaking up with me. As is typical of me in these circumstances, regardless of how many times I have found myself in them, I was confused and distraught. I asked her why she was breaking up with me. I was, in my mind at least, her knight in shining armor, after all. “I did nothing wrong,” I told her, awaiting consolation and an explanation. “That’s the problem,” she replied, “You are so concerned with doing nothing wrong, that you simply do nothing at all. That’s no way to live.”

After the initial sting (and denial) had passed, I found that this feedback was actually informative and helpful. I had grown up overly concerned about the negative impact that my actions had on the emotions of those around me. Out of fear for causing others hurt or distress, I chose to not act, to do nothing instead of doing something wrong. She was right. Living as a shield for other people’s pain was no way to live. Doing nothing was not the same as doing good.

In Japanese martial arts, it is said, there are no defensive techniques. All techniques, including parries and blocks are attacks. They are active and life affirming, not passively accepting of the inevitability of death. This was her lesson for me. Live actively, not defensively.

-Robert Van Valkenburgh teaches Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and Taikyoku Budo at Kogen Dojo
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March 9, 2019

active living, budo, do good, do no wrong, do right, doing good, intention, japanese martial arts, live well, live with purpose, living well, purpose driven life, relationships
A Prayer of Service
Is religion the organization, the belief, or the act?

A lot of people these days seem to have disdain for religion. It is easy to see why. It is a contentious subject, perhaps the most contentious subject since the dawn of humanity. It is so contentious, in fact, that the history of humankind is essentially the history of religious wars.

Perhaps I have been fortunate. The religious people I have grown up around, from my grandparents to my parents-in-law, in spite of their vastly different religious traditions, have been some of the kindest, most gracious, humble, and generous people I have ever met. It is difficult to say whether or not religion was a causal factor in their goodness or whether they were and are simply good people at their cores, but it gives me pause.

My mother-in-law, for example, whenever there is an event or ceremony at the Cambodian Buddhist temple, wakes up before the sun and begins prepping vast amounts of food for the monks. She does not cook for status or notoriety. It is likely that no one besides her and our family even knows which dishes she cooked, but she does it exactly because it is generous. It is the act of giving that is religious to her. It is the act of giving that is her prayer.

-Robert Van Valkenburgh teaches Taikyoku Budo & Gracie Jiu-Jitsu at Kogen Dojo
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March 5, 2019

asian culture, asian food, buddhism, buddhist, cambodian, chinese, cooking, food, noodles, prayer, religion
Fun and Freedom with Four Limbs
Four limbs are better than two.

In Brazilan jiu-jitsu (BJJ), one of the distinguishing characteristics of the ‘little guy jiu-jitsu’ used by smaller BJJ practitioners is that smaller folks in BJJ tend to use their legs a lot more for manipulations, attacks, and defenses than larger practitioners do. In my observation and experience, a larger jiu-jitsu practitioner is more likely to use his or her upper body to pin, attack, or defend while rolling. Smaller practitioners, on the other hand, rely on their legs much more to make space, apply leverage, and secure positions. In this way, the legs become a sort of force multiplier, not only compensating for whatever size or strength the smaller practitioner may be lacking, but also making his or her entire body a threat to his or her opponent.

While the arms and hands tend to have more dexterity than the legs and feet, the lower limbs tend to be stronger. With specialized training exercises and lots of repetitive drilling, however, the legs can gain dexterity, making them even more of a threat because of their already natural strength. A practitioner especially skilled with his or her legs can and will use them as or more effectively than many practitioners use their arms and hands. All other things being equal, this essentially makes smaller folks twice as threatening as practitioners who rely on their upper body to do most of the work. What’s more, by using the legs to manipulate or tie up an opponent, the arms are then free to attack in ways they may otherwise not be able to if they were doing the work that the legs now do. This creates freedom. WIth freedom comes opportunity. With opportunity comes creativity and with creativity comes fun.

-Robert Van Valkenburgh teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu at Kogen Dojo

39.073857 -76.547111
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March 4, 2019

bjj, brazilian jiu-jitsu, gracie jiu-jitsu, kogen dojo, leg locks, Martial Arts, nogi bjj, submission grappling
Opinions Along the Path
Our inner compass for decision making cannot be driven by the thoughts, fears, and opinions of others, lest we spend a lifetime compiling regret and resentment. Regret comes from not doing what we know in our hearts to be true. Resentment comes from the blame we feel for our regrets, directed toward those whom we let distract us from our path. The opinions and feelings of others are fleeting like feathers in the breeze of time, but regret for time lost is like a permanent brand on the soul to remind us that we cannot go back, so we must do better for ourselves.

-Robert Van Valkenburgh teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-at Kogen Dojo
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March 3, 2019

Inspiration, opinions, passion, perseverance, regrets, resentments, the way
Resetting Travel to Experience
The beauty of coffee is not only in its ability to keep us going, but in its ability to slow us down.

We visited Paris, France midway through what was proving to be, up until that point, a very fast-paced tour of Europe. We had seen parts of England, both the countryside and London, and now we were in another city in another country. World travel is supposed to be life-changing and fun, right? At this point, we were stressed out and exhausted from pushing ourselves to the limit, trying to see everything, but with not enough time to experience anything. So, I stopped.

We were on our way to see the Eiffel Tower and we came upon a small cafe. I walked inside, encouraging others to follow suit, I ordered an espresso, a croissant with jam for myself, a croissant with jam for my daughter, and I sat down. Whatever else we were going to do and see that day, I was going to experience and savor this moment. We were in Paris, after all. Should we not, even if for fifteen minutes, break away from being tourists and experience what it would be like to be Parisian? Is that not what makes travel most memorable and enjoyable, stepping into another world, foreign from our own, and allowing ourselves to be transformed by it?

The espresso was good. The croissant was good. This moment, however, was life altering. It was a necessary reset. It was a way to shift perspectives from looking at Paris to being in Paris. It transported us, at least in my mind, from having a superficial experience of the city to actually experiencing the city.

-Robert Van Valkenburgh teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu at Kogen Dojo

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March 2, 2019

cafe, coffee, coffee shop, Eiffel Tower, espresso, experience, France, Paris, Paris France, sight seeing, tourist, travel

Doing No Wrong Does Not Equate To Living Right

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A Prayer of Service

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Fun and Freedom with Four Limbs

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Opinions Along the Path

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Resetting Travel to Experience

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