Success is often more difficult to handle than failure because, while failure can be an end in itself, success requires a commitment to keep going.
We often think of failure in terms of its’ negative connotations. We associate failure with disappointment, frustration, and loss. Failure can also bring us relief, however, because failure resolves uncertainty.
When we try something and we fail, the choices we have are typically fairly clear. They usually come down to a choice between determination, innovation, and resignation. That is to say, we can “try, try, try again,” we can take a different approach altogether, or we can quit, cut our losses, and move on.
Failure is a natural stopping point at which we are afforded the luxury of reassessing our goals, our strategies, and our tactics. Failure allows us to ask ourselves how badly we really wanted what we were working toward and exactly how far we are willing to go in order to achieve it. Failure is a place to rest and catch our breath, even if just for a moment.
Success, on the other hand, in spite of the way it is perceived by those who have never achieved it, affords no such luxury. Success is a state of perpetual motion. Success must be ceaselessly and tirelessly nurtured, fed, and tended to.
Often, instead of creating possibilities, success limits them, forcing us to focus on it and only it lest we lose what we believe ourselves to have gained. Success demands our time, our attention, and our energy.
Failure, in spite of the way it may feel, affords us near limitless options and possibilities because it requires nothing from us. Obviously, failure should not be our goal, but it should also not be overlooked for its value along the way.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
Give yourself a little bit of sweetness to take the edge off the bitter.
One of the easiest ways to all but guarantee failure in an activity or endeavor is to approach it with an all of nothing attitude. Since most things worth doing are inherently difficult, we are bound to trip up and fall on the way to accomplish them. If we have an all or nothing mindset, any one of these small failures could end up being the thing that make us quit altogether. If instead we look for small steps of progress along the way, when we stumble, we will see that we are still ahead of where we were.
In Japanese culture, they refer to this principle of incremental progress as kaizen (改善). Kaizen is the process of making small changes within a system or organization that have a positive impact from the top down in an that system or organization. This principle can also be used to refer to small steps of progress in any area of one’s life that needs improvement. Small wins keep us motivated and moving forward.
We must set ourselves and those around us up for success, not failure, from day to day. The best way to do that is to set achievable and measurable goals that increase gradually over time so that every step step forward feels like a win. Celebrate the small wins as milestones of success. Life has enough harsh and bitter moments that we need not add to them unnecessarily with daily losses and failures simply because we were too far-reaching. Give yourself tiny little moments of sweetness and satisfaction so that you can approach the next challenge with confidence and passionate dedication.
-Robert Van Valkenburgh teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu at Kogen Dojo
Meditations on God 