Do not use your work as an excuse to ignore your life.
Work is a means to an end.
Work is not and should not be an end in itself.
We work to have a better life.
Our work allows us to provide for ourselves and our families, to take care of our health and other basic needs, and, ideally, to more fully enjoy the time we spend not working.
But there is a point of diminishing returns wherein our work begins to cost us more than it gives.
If you find yourself sacrificing your family, your health, and your joy for your work, you may have found that point.
If your work makes your life worse, you need to find different work.
At some point, we must decide who, not necessarily what, we want to be.
It is quite common to ask children what they want to be when they grow up, but perhaps this is the wrong way to think about life.
While our occupations obviously have a powerful affect on the direction that our lives take, they are not and should not be our life’s primary defining characteristic.
Of course, none of us wants to end up in a career that we hate. Our occupations, after all, occupy a great number of our waking hours and time wasted is time lost.
Likewise, we need to be able to pay our bills, provide for ourselves and our families, and have enough left over so that we can pursue our avocations, hobbies, and passion projects.
But, if we do not know who we are and who we want to be, intellectually, morally, emotionally, and spiritually, we will have no gauge by which to determine if we are on the right course or not.
All too often, people find themselves mid-life questioning their path, their choices, and the ways in which they have spent their years up to that point and, perhaps, if instead of focusing on career, we focused more on character, this would not be the case.
Skills, knowledge, passion, and ambition are all important, but none of these make up for poor character, pliable morality, or unreliability.
The world does not really need more doctors, firefighters, or ballerinas per se.
What the world needs is more good people who do good work, regardless of what field they happen to seek out or fall into.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
We must find a balance between the ways in which we serve our communities and the ways in which we serve our hearts’ callings.
When people are challenged with the idea that they should do what they love, many automatically assume this necessarily refers to their occupation. This is a patently false assumption, however. Doing what we love is more of a private, personal responsibility to ourselves than it is an occupational goal per se.
Our occupations are the means by which we serve the needs of our communities in exchange for sustenance, usually in the form of money that we use to feed, house, and clothe ourselves and our families. In order for others to be willing to pay us for our skills, knowledge, or expertise, they must first need those things from us more than they need their money.
The work we are paid for revolves more around the needs of others than it does around our own personal desires. Simply put, if there is no public need for the work we do, we do not have a job. For this reason, our occupations may not in fact have anything to do with our personal happiness, fulfillment, or enjoyment.
Doing what we love, then, is a personal matter. It means that we are responsible for finding a balance between the needs of the community that pays us for our service while also serving the calling of our hearts in a way that gives our lives meaning, purpose, and fulfillment. If our service to both our communities and our heart’s calling happen to overlap, we are fortunate indeed, but, if they do not, we should not mourn.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
“I’ve always seen a vehicle as nothing more than a way to get from point A to point B.” —My Grandfather
Many of us never stop to really question why we want the things we think that we want. We do not ask why we are chasing after a nicer car, a bigger house, or a higher position. We simply pursue these things as if they are some sort of existential imperative for no reason other than we feel as if we ought to.
We rarely stop to ask ourselves why, if having more is so important, does it always seem to leave us feeling dissatisfied, unfulfilled, and wanting more still. When is enough enough? When is a car just a car, a house just a house, and a job just a job?
If, for us, material possessions and financial-social status are ends in themselves, if they are what give our lives meaning and purpose, so be it. However, for most of us, they are just a means to an end. The problem is that many of us have never really considered or defined what that end is. We have not thought about where we are trying to get and at what point we will stop chasing more.
If we pause for a moment, take a deep breath, and really get honest with ourselves, we may realize that the things that truly bring us joy, fulfillment, and satisfaction are far fewer and far less expensive than we tend to think. Perhaps, these things are not things at all, but experiences. If we can shape our lives around the experiences that bring us the deepest sense of contentment, happiness, and meaning or purpose, we may find that we are already, actually unbelievably wealthy.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
Meditations on God 