Meditations on God

An Appropriate Standard

Our relationships do not have to be perfect.

They simply need to be appropriate.

Our relationships need to have the appropriate amount of compassion, generosity, and graciousness.

They also need the appropriate distance and boundaries.

This is simple, but it is certainly not easy.

Each relationship is different, requiring its own unique combination of characteristics.

And, relationships are fluid.

They are constantly changing.

We must change along with them.

It is all too easy to over or undershoot with our efforts.

Finding the right balance within each relationship is quite difficult, especially as our relationships overlap and interconnect with one another.

Striving for perfection will drive us mad.

It is far easier and more achievable to strive for appropriateness.

May 5, 2021

appropriateness, balance, perfection, relationships

Accepting Help

One of the most important lessons we can teach our children is that we do not solve all of our problems on our own.

They need to understand that, quite often, we need help from others.

They also need to know that we are willing to ask for it when we do and that we are willing to accept it when it is freely offered.

We do not know everything, we cannot do everything, and we cannot be all things to all people.

Sometimes, we do our best and it is not good enough.

Sometimes, we do not have the knowledge, the skills, or the resources to accomplish whatever it is that we are trying to accomplish.

Our children need to see us not pretending.

They need to see that, as much as we try to be strong, self-sufficient, and resilient, we are also only human.

As such, we are flawed, we are fragile, and we rely on other people in our lives, people we respect, trust, and care about, to be strong where we are weak.

We work together with others to make better lives for ourselves and for each other.

They need to know this because it is important that they understand, when they need help, that it is okay to ask for it and it is okay to accept it.

They also need to know that when others ask for help, it is okay to give it.

May 4, 2021

community, family, help, humility

Consistent Progress

When we set out to create a new habit or to change a habit we currently have, there is a tendency to want to start big, to want to do or change everything all at once.

This usually proves to be a mistake, however.

We start out with lofty goals, pushing ahead with all of our focus and attention, but then, inevitably, we come up against resistance.

We try to move forward, but things become difficult.

Things do not quite go as we had planned, we do not progress as fast as we would like to, and we get frustrated.

This frustration quite often leads to quitting.

Instead of creating a new, positive habit or transforming a negative one, we tell ourselves that it is not even worth the effort to try and we go back to life as we previously knew it, in spite of the fact that we have already admitted to ourselves that what we were doing before was not working and we need to change.

Quite often, this entire cycle could have been avoided if only we had tried to do less.

Of course, the change we are aiming for is great.

Transformative habits require a great deal of time and energy.

There is not much point in striving for subtle change.

Still, by trying to do too much, too fast, we set ourselves up for frustration, disappointment, and failure.

We are usually far better off taking lots of small actions that add up to big change than trying to take big actions that we give up on before change is allowed to happen.

Small bits of progress made consistently over a long period of time will usually produce greater results for us than large amounts of progress made sporadically and inconsistently in short bursts.

May 3, 2021

change, growth, progress

Our Quiet Values

We will never be comfortable with who we are if we consistently do things in our lives that go against our values.

Sometimes it is difficult to truly know what our values are, however.

Our values come from all different places, some of which are influencing us without us even knowing it.

We each have the values we were raised with, the values that we picked up from our experiences, and the values we have decided for ourselves along the way.

Some of these values are conscious and some are unconscious, but they all affect the way we think, talk, and behave in our lives.

When our values do not align with the values of the world around us, we find ourselves in conflict.

But, in reality, our values may even be in conflict with themselves which will, in turn, put us in conflict with ourselves.

This can all be quite confusing from day to day.

Add to this the fact that the world changes, the people around us change, and we change, and it can be quite frustrating to find our bearing at times.

This is why we must look inward.

If we truly want to know what our values are, we have to learn to sit still, to quiet our minds, and to listen to our inner voice.

This voice, our conscience for lack of a better word, knows the truth about who we are and what is right or wrong for us.

If we listen to this inner voice, we will find that our inner, and even our outer, conflict starts to resolve itself.

If we do not, we will find that, over time, this inner voice gets quieter and quieter, while our discomfort, confusion, and frustration grow ever louder and stronger.

We can always return to this quiet place, however.

It is not too late.

May 2, 2021

conflict, conscience, values

A Source Of Peace And Comfort

If our peace and comfort comes only from the opinions of others regarding who we are, not only will it be very difficult for us to find peace and comfort, but it will also be very difficult to be who we are.

We cannot please everyone.

Nor can we impress, motivate, or inspire everyone.

In reality, out of all of the people in the world, very few people will ever actually like, respect, or care about us.

Out of those few people, if we are extremely fortunate, maybe a handful will be a reliable source of support and positivity in our lives.

The truth is that most people are too worried about themselves, their own interests, and their own ideas, agendas, and perceptions to care about who we are at any more than the most superficial level.

They are more concerned with who we are to them, for them, and what we have to offer them than they are with who we actually are, what our true value is, and what our needs are.

If we try to find peace and comfort in our selves and in our lives by trying to please these people, we will inevitably be disappointed.

Peace and comfort that is attached to something as fickle as the opinions of others cannot be said to be true peace of comfort.

If we want peace and comfort that is consistent, reliable, and eternal, we must seek it from a source that is also consistent, reliable, and eternal.

May 1, 2021

comfort, opinions, peace

An Appropriate Standard

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Accepting Help

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Consistent Progress

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Our Quiet Values

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A Source Of Peace And Comfort

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