Tag: self care

• Be Kind To Yourself

  Be kind to yourself.

  Don’t be selfish or self-serving, but be gentle and loving toward yourself.

  Allow yourself the same grace and forgiveness you would a dear friend.

  Life is difficult enough without you making it worse for yourself.

  People are cruel enough that there is no need for you to be cruel to yourself.

  Stop setting unreasonable expectations that no one, least of all you, can live up to.

  Give yourself some room to make mistakes, to learn, and to grow.

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  BE KIND TO YOURSELF
  By Robert Van Valkenburgh
  Meditations of a Gentle Warrior

  To receive my daily blog in your inbox, subscribe at holisticbudo.com

  To contact me, to see what else I’m up to, or to read my longer writings, visit robertvanvalkenburgh.com

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  May 21, 2024

  forgiveness, grace, health, kindness, self care, well being

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• Working On Yourself

  Every time you focus on someone else’s shortcomings, you miss an opportunity to work on your own.

  No one is perfect.

  Every one is extremely, perhaps tragically, flawed.

  You are no exception.

  And no matter how hard you try, you will never be perfect.

  Regardless of how much you work on yourself, you will always come up short in some way.

  This is as true for you as it is for everyone else.

  The time and energy you spend focusing on someone else’s mistakes, flaws, and shortcomings is time and energy you will never get back.

  It is also time and energy spent not working on yourself, trying to improve upon your mistakes, flaws, and shortcomings.

  Of course, you should be helpful wherever and whenever possible, but there is a big difference between being helpful and being unnecessarily critical or judgmental.

  Next time you feel tempted to point out where someone else is wrong, ask yourself if your time and energy would be more wisely used working on yourself.

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  December 8, 2023

  criticism, judgemental, self care, self improvement

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• Prioritizing Empathy

  Empathy does not always demand action. 

  You can understand and even feel someone else’s pain without having to try to alleviate it. 

  You cannot solve every problem that everyone experiences. 

  As a matter of self-care and even self-preservation, nor should try to. 

  In many cases, you actually have no right interfering with other people’s suffering. 

  Additionally, for the sake of those who need you most, you have an obligation not to over-extend yourself for every tragedy, trauma, and hardship someone else experiences. 

  You cannot be available for those who need you and for everyone else at the same time. 

  Even if it hurts, sometimes you have to let other people suffer. 

  In fact, sometimes the kindest thing you can do is to let people go through what they are going through. 

  This is not always easy to do, especially as an empathetic person, but you must find or develop boundaries between the problems you can and should try to solve and those that are outside of your ability and responsibility. 

  Otherwise, your whole life will be spent taking care of others while neglecting your own needs, and even the needs of the people closest to you. 

  This is not a call to be selfish. 

  Nor is it a call to become cold, calloused, and insensitive. 

  Rather, it is a call to also have compassion for yourself and those who are in your direct care by prioritizing and directing your empathy appropriately. 

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  November 6, 2023

  boundaries, compassion, empathy, priortities, self care, self preservation

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• Balancing Needs

  What is best for the people around you is not necessarily what is best for you.

  This can be a difficult situation to find yourself in.

  Balancing the needs of others with your own is not easy.

  When others rely on you to take care of them, it gets even more complicated.

  Their needs can feel paramount to your own, and sometimes they are.

  But your needs cannot be ignored forever.

  If your emotional, psychological, and physical health is neglected for long enough, even if for the right reasons, there are consequences.

  And these are often not easily overcome.

  You must, therefore, know what your needs are and find a way to balance them with the needs of those around you.

  At times, this will mean prioritizing yourself, lest you become incapable of helping anyone at all.

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  August 15, 2023

  balance, health, needs, self care

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• Self Care Is Not Selfish

  Self care is not selfish.

  It is necessary.

  If you do not afford yourself sufficient rest, hydration, nutrition, exercise, and even play, you simply cannot care for others effectively.

  This may seem like a long list and it is difficult to find a perfect balance with all of these facets of health, but it is essential that you try.

  And, like all aspects of life, self care requires practice.

  It requires trial and error.

  You are not going to get it right all at once.

  Nor will what works for another person necessarily work for you.

  In fact, what works for you today may not work for you tomorrow.

  But taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health is essential not only for your own wellbeing but for your ability to be of service to others.

  If you do not take care of your health, inevitably someone else will have to take care of it for you.

  If you do take care of your health, however, you are also able to care for others.

  Self care, therefore, is not selfish.

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  July 9, 2023

  exercise, fitness, health, nutrition, play, rest, self care, wellbeing

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