It shrinks your world down to the size of itself, offering no comfort or consolation in the process.
Because fear is selfish.
It demands all of your attention and cares nothing about you, your relationships, or your desires.
Fear is the cancerous destroyer of hopes and dreams, but as powerful as fear feels and as convincing as fear’s lies may sound, fear is ultimately an illusion.
Expose your fear to light, face it, and walk through it, and you will discover that fear only exists in your mind.
As such, fear is overcome by getting out of your head and into action.
As much as we may want life to make sense, to be rational, and to be fair and predictable, the reality is that our lives, the way that we view the world, the way we envision the future, and the way we remember our past, is all filtered through, shaped, and colored by our emotions to some degree or another.
Reason is a tool we use to justify or explain the way we experience and interact with the world, but our actual experience of our lives, of ourselves, and of our relationships is emotional.
Beyond reason, beyond explanation, rationalization, and justification, there is an emotional battle for control happening inside of us and between us at all times.
This battle for our hearts, our minds, and our relationships is being fought between the two most powerful forces in the world. These are love and fear.
The degree to which we allow one or the other of these to dictate our thoughts, our actions, and even our logic, is the degree to which we will experience a life of either joy or anguish, abundance or scarcity, and companionship or isolation.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
One question that has no season, that is appropriate in any situation, and that it is never too early or late to ask is: How can I be helpful?
We may perceive ourselves as independent, but the reality is that, whether times are good, bad, or indifferent, we are really all in this together. At some point in our lives, whether we like it or not, we will need help from others and others will need help from us.
Those of us who recognize, accept, and embrace this truth sooner than later have a better chance to create, contribute to, and benefit from what will actually keep us going in times of difficulty, and that is community.
Community is more than simply a group of people gathering together in close proximity. True community is a group of people who, no matter how close or far apart, share a common bond, common interests, and a common goal of helping one another.
When we are part of a community, we owe it to ourselves and to each other within that community to stay active, to stay in touch, and to remain available for when we are needed or when we are in need.
In times of perceived or real separation from our community, whether that means our family, our friends, or our compatriots, when we feel alone, frightened, and lost, we must ask ourselves what we can do to make the situation better, not for ourselves, but for others who are likely feeling the same way as us.
We must ask ourselves how we can be helpful to those who are also estranged and isolated, regardless of how brief the time or short the distance of our separation. We must step up and reach out, ensuring our community that we are still together even when apart.
We must connect with each other by whatever means are available so that, when circumstances reunite us, we are not strangers, but are more firmly bonded than ever before.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh (artist unknown, unless otherwise noted).
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Meditations on God 