The world does not need more people who follow along.
We don’t need more of the same.
We need leaders, innovators, and free thinkers.
If you don’t fit in, that is a good thing.
Stand out, make some noise, and make a difference.
It will be lonely at first, but you will be lonelier conforming beneath your potential.
Lead us in a better direction than where we are currently headed.
Conformity is easy.
We need only to do what we are told in order to get ahead.
Conformity is easy, that is, up until the moment that we realize that conformity is also a competition.
Once we come to this realization, we quickly begin to understand that we are in trouble.
We are in trouble if we lose because we are easily replaced by others who are better at conforming than we are.
We are in even more trouble if we win, however.
Why?
The only way to win the conformity competition is to have fewer opinions, to have fewer ideas, and to have less of an identity than our fellow competitors.
Winning at the conformity competition means losing ourselves, our hopes, and our dreams.
But, the fact that we had these to begin with means we are at a disadvantage.
Others who did not are already ahead of us and it will probably be easier for them the whole way through.
So what are we to do?
Do we try to win at a competition that requires us to lose who we are?
Or, do we lose what we have by being beat out by others who are willing to sacrifice more than we are in order to race to the bottom?
Neither of these options seems ideal.
Perhaps we feel like we need something else, something different, or something better, but no one is going to give it to us, at least not unless we are willing to play the conformity game to get it.
But, that puts us right back to where we started.
We have to do something.
We have to make something.
We have to lead the way.
If we let other people’s opinions determine our path, it is no longer our path.
Life is hard enough without adding other people’s doubts, fears, and insecurities to our decision-making processes.
Most likely, we have enough worries of our own that having more will not really help us anyway.
If we use other people’s opinions to justify our indecision or inaction with regards to that which we know we must do for ourselves, our lives, and our dreams, we are simply buffering regret.
We may be able to postpone it and soften its blow, but regret over opportunities not taken, goals not pursued, purpose unfulfilled, and truths denied cannot be avoided forever.
It will always find us eventually because it resides within our hearts.
No matter how much logic, rationalization, and justification we use to push it down, push it aside, or push it away, it will always creep back into our consciousness until we face and overcome that which created it.
No one else can do this for us, least of all those people who we allowed to influence the decisions that led us here.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
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Fear makes us perceive the potential for change as the inevitability of loss.
Fear is a thief. It steals opportunity, growth, and relationships.
It tells us that, if we will lose control, we will lose everything.
It lies to us by saying that, if only everything stays how we think we want it, all will be okay, but that nothing is ever really okay.
Fear does not allow other people to help us. Fear does not allow us to help ourselves.
Fear is mind control.
It blinds us from seeing our potential.
It deafens us to the possibility of love, acceptance, and purpose.
It prevents us from speaking our truth, forcing us into conformity or isolation.
Fear binds us to itself, weighing us down so that we cannot ascend beyond our perceived place in this world.
Fear destroys our lives by convincing us that change is a threat to our security, our safety, and our future.
It tells us that different equates to death.
The truth is that a life worth living exists only beyond the boundaries of fear.
Fear may never go away, but we can learn how to live in spite of it.
The only thing we have to lose is that which is holding us back.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.
If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.
Meditations on God 