beliefs – Meditations on God

Challenging Identity

People often hold certain beliefs as a means of survival.

Their beliefs help them to navigate through this complicated world.

Life can be joyous and fulfilling, but it can also be tragic and heartbreaking.

People’s beliefs give them something to hold onto for comfort and stability, and to help them to make sense of things that may not otherwise make any sense at all.

When you challenge these beliefs, however, you are not simply challenging ideas.

You are also challenging that person’s identity.

As such, you will meet resistance.

Before you do this, ask yourself if it is worth it.

Ask yourself if your need to be right is really worth trying to dismantle someone else’s identity and security.

Is what they choose to believe actually hurting you or anyone else?

Do you need for them to change their mind in order for you to be happy?

Does your identity, your stability, and your security hinge upon what someone else believes or does not believe?

If not, perhaps you should just let them be.

If so, perhaps you need to reconsider some of your own beliefs.

September 27, 2023

beliefs, comfort, ideas, identity, security

Make Up Your Own Mind

Do not allow other people’s prejudices, resentments, and fears to dictate your attitude.

The more you participate in the world, the more you will be bombarded with different opinions, attitudes, and perspectives.

You cannot avoid outside influences, but you can make up your own mind.

Also, you can and should form your own opinions based on your own experiences and values.

In the end, your attitude will largely dictate the quality of your life.

As such, make sure that your attitude is actually yours and not something you have simply picked up along the way.

You need to live with yourself.

It is best, therefore, to be yourself.

May 11, 2023

attitude, be yourself, beliefs, independence, individuality, opinions, think for yourself

A Loving Reminder

We will not please everyone.

For one reason or another, some people will get angry at us.

They will feel slighted by us.

Our behavior may make them upset, jealous, or envious.

They will look down on us, talk badly about us, and turn their backs on us.

And, sometimes this all happens for very good reason.

Sometimes we have talked or behaved in a way that is objectionable.

We may have done something wrong that needs correcting or that cannot be corrected, taken back, or amended.

We are not perfect.

However, in spite of all of this, God’s love is ever present.

We may not realize it, feel it, or even accept it, but it is always there and there is never a single moment when we are not the object of His affection.

No matter what anyone else feels, thinks, or says about us, no matter what they do to us, and no matter what we feel, think, or say about ourselves, the fact of God’s ever present love never changes.

It is the very reason for our existence.

Our very presence on this earth is the result of God’s love manifesting itself through us.

This is not to say that our thoughts, words, and deeds have no consequence.

They do.

Nor should we simply disregard the affect we have on others.

We should not.

It simply means that the fact that we are loved by God has nothing to do with us or others.

We cannot make God love us or stop loving us, nor can they.

All of this is merely a reminder that there is more to life than the thoughts, words, and actions of ourselves or others.

Before all of this, within all of this, and after all of this, there was, is, and always will be love.

We would all be better served by thinking, speaking, and behaving accordingly.

June 4, 2021

behaviors, beliefs, god, love, opinions

Changing Beliefs

Time and energy spent trying to change other people’s beliefs is often time and energy wasted.

Beliefs are very personal.

They run deep within our identities.

They inform who we are and how we see and interact with the world.

They are not easily changed.

This is especially true when our beliefs are met head on with resistance.

Resistance tends to make us double-down on our beliefs, to hold them tighter, and to defend them more fervently.

Our beliefs are what we use to protect ourselves against challenges and threats.

Challenges and threats to our beliefs in an attempt to get us to change them, therefore, almost always have the opposite effect.

They makes us cling to our beliefs more tightly.

Our beliefs only change when we are willing for them to do so.

This willingness is not usually brought about by debate, argument, or condemnation.

Willingness, the kind that is deep enough and real enough to make us change what we believe, often only comes about by way of great pain or great love.

We should keep this in mind when we find ourselves tempted to try to change another person’s beliefs.

Perhaps if we spent more time and energy showing the person or persons we wish to change more love, compassion, and understanding, they may come to see for themselves that there is a better way to live and a better way to believe.

Maybe they will come around on their own.

At least we can be certain that our time and energy will not be wasted.

Time and energy spent on love, compassion, and understanding is never wasted.

April 5, 2021

belief, beliefs, compassion, love, resistance, understanding

Values Revealed

We may claim to value something, but, quite often, our actions say otherwise.

What we say, or even think, and what we do are regularly at odds with one another.

Even when our actions do align with what we claim are our values, it is sometimes because we are motivated by external forces to act.

Whether for fear of consequences, desire for reward, or coercion, we take actions that mask what our inner-most values are.

Our true values reveal themselves by what we are willing to do when there are no impending consequences, rewards, or coercive forces driving us to act.

It is the actions taken when we are at our most free that prove what we actually value most.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Kogen Dojo Self Defense Academy where he teaches Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.*

*Robert Van Valkenburgh’s black and white photography can be seen at My Darkness To Light

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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December 26, 2020

actions, beliefs, life, values

Tag: beliefs

Challenging Identity

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Make Up Your Own Mind

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A Loving Reminder

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Changing Beliefs

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Values Revealed

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