Give yourself room to breathe.
Being driven and ambitious is not inherently a bad thing.
It is far better than being lazy and apathetic.
However, you need room to breathe.
You need time to relax, to decompress, and to recharge.
Do not make yourself so busy that you cannot enjoy yourself or the fruits of your labor.
Do not forget to breathe.
At some point, we must decide who, not necessarily what, we want to be.
It is quite common to ask children what they want to be when they grow up, but perhaps this is the wrong way to think about life.
While our occupations obviously have a powerful affect on the direction that our lives take, they are not and should not be our life’s primary defining characteristic.
Of course, none of us wants to end up in a career that we hate. Our occupations, after all, occupy a great number of our waking hours and time wasted is time lost.
Likewise, we need to be able to pay our bills, provide for ourselves and our families, and have enough left over so that we can pursue our avocations, hobbies, and passion projects.
But, if we do not know who we are and who we want to be, intellectually, morally, emotionally, and spiritually, we will have no gauge by which to determine if we are on the right course or not.
All too often, people find themselves mid-life questioning their path, their choices, and the ways in which they have spent their years up to that point and, perhaps, if instead of focusing on career, we focused more on character, this would not be the case.
Skills, knowledge, passion, and ambition are all important, but none of these make up for poor character, pliable morality, or unreliability.
The world does not really need more doctors, firefighters, or ballerinas per se.
What the world needs is more good people who do good work, regardless of what field they happen to seek out or fall into.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
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“If you’re pursuing something crazy, you have to say ‘no’ to so many opportunities to go out, to meet people, to have fun, to earn money, to do frivolous things, but in the end it’s worth it because you will then be able to do all of that stuff and you will be living a life of total engagement.”
—Brian Koppleman
If your crazy idea, your dream, your vision, is worth anything, it is worth sacrificing for. Looked at another way, giving up immediate gratification, short term satisfaction, and shallow pursuits for that which drives you, gives you fulfillment, and adds deep meaning to your life is not a sacrifice at all. A sacrifice is the act of giving up something greater for something lesser.
If your big idea, your 10x, or your disruptive technology is to be what you hope it is, there is no sacrifice in turning down the invitation to the party, the dinner, the get rich quick scheme, or the vacation today to work on what you really want tomorrow. That is not a sacrifice, it is an investment. Invest your time, your energy, and your focus on what truly matters, even if it means that you feel like you are missing out.
Saying ‘yes’ to things that do not matter means saying ‘no’ to the things that do and vice versa. There is more regret in never doing something that matters than there is in missing out on the little things that don’t.
“As in life, so too it is in budo. As in budo, so too it is in life.”
-Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
Meditations on God 