Meditations on God

Supporting Change
Some of us are our best selves when we are helping others be their best selves.

Each of us is meant for a different purpose.

We are all agents of change in our own, unique way.

Some of us impact the world directly through our work, by making immediate, noticeable, and culture-shifting change.

Some of us make change in the world less directly, however.

We change the world through others, by helping them to be better.

We improve the lives of those who improve the world.

We support them, guide and motivate them, and give them the tools and the space through which to be their best selves and do their best work.

This type of change may be slower, it may be less obvious, and it may not seem as glorious as being on the front lines, but is no less important.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Kogen Dojo Self Defense Academy where he teaches Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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October 16, 2020

be yourself, change, help, helping, journey, mission, path, purpose, service, support
Healing Through Change
Explanations do not heal hurt feelings.

We all make mistakes.

We will all hurt someone else, at some point in our lives, in some way.

It may be unintentional.

We may be entirely unaware that we even did so.

Sometimes, even with the best possible intentions, our words or actions cause harm, hurt feelings, or misunderstandings with those around us.

This is especially true with those who are closest to us.

The more closely intertwined we are with a person, the easier it is to hurt them and for them to hurt us.

Even though this is a relational inevitability, that does not excuse us from trying to making it right.

Hurt feelings are not merely a consequence of interaction.

They are something that should be addressed and amended to the best of our ability.

A mere explanation is insufficient, however.

No one really wants to know why we hurt them, at least not in the sense that this knowledge, alone, will facilitate any kind of real and transformative healing.

What people want, need, or expect is change.

They want to know that their feelings, an extension of their deepest hopes, dreams, insecurities, and fears, are acknowledged and respected, and that this acknowledgement has changed us, our words, and our behavior toward them in a positive way.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Kogen Dojo Self Defense Academy where he teaches Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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October 15, 2020

amendments, behavior, caring, change, emotions, explanations, feelings, hurt, love
Give To Get
There are no guarantees that we will get out of something what we put into it.

We may get more or we may get less than we put in, but things are rarely, if ever, truly equal.

This should not discourage us from trying, however.

After all, one way to guarantee that we receive less than we give is to give nothing at all.

No effort to invest, contribute, or improve will offer us no benefit in return.

We cannot expect to get something from nothing.

That is not how life works.

If we want to get anything in return, we must give our time, energy, and attention up front.

We may not get what we give, but we get nothing if we give nothing.

We are left, therefore, to try.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Kogen Dojo Self Defense Academy where he teaches Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

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October 14, 2020

achievement, attention, effort, energy, focus, generosity, giving, success
Seeking Our Values
We must determine what is important to us and seek that out unwaveringly and unapologetically.

Some of us value freedom.

Others value money.

Others still value possessions or power or family or security or any of a number of things, feelings, or experiences.

Values are very personal and very difficult to change.

They are also very easy to fool ourselves over.

We may think we value one thing, but our actions or our deepest feelings tell us otherwise.

But, if we are able to be brutally and unashamedly honest with ourselves about what is absolutely and truly most important to us, we give ourselves a north star that can guide us on our journey through this life.

If we are able to look toward this guiding light, we will always know where to go.

When we get lost, sidetracked, or distracted, we simply need to come back to that which is most important to us and we will be able to get back on track.

Once we know what we value above all else, we have a truth, a mission, and a purpose that cannot be taken away from us, and with that comes a life worth living.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Kogen Dojo Self Defense Academy where he teaches Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.
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October 13, 2020

accomplishment, achievement, focus, goals, mission, purpose, success, truth, values
Balanced Not Equal
Relationships are very rarely equal, but they can still be balanced.

It is very difficult to maintain pure and true equality in any kind of relationship.

In fact, it may be impossible.

There are simply too many variables to consider, track, and measure.

Someone is always going to give or take more of something than someone else.

If we try to chase or demand equality of input and outcome in our relationships, we will not only find ourselves disappointed, but also in a constant state of conflict.

Balance, on the other hand, is not only achievable, but is actually more desirable.

Balance means that we make it work.

It means that we cover for each other.

It means that our strength makes up for the weakness of others.

It also means that we allow the strength of others to support us where we have weakness.

Balance is not easy, however.

It requires honesty, humility, and vulnerability.

It requires that we do not keep score, that we trust others, and that we give freely of ourselves because we want to, not because we have an expectation of reciprocity.

Balance demands that we give our all, even when our all is not enough, and that we have faith that the remainder will be there for us when we need it.

When we show up like this and others do too, something magical happens and we realize that we can get through anything together.

Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.

Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Kogen Dojo Self Defense Academy where he teaches Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.

Follow Robert Van Valkenburgh and Holistic Budo on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and LinkedIn.

If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.
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October 12, 2020

balance, equality, fairness, faith, relationships, strength, trust, vulnerability, weakness

Supporting Change

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Healing Through Change

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Give To Get

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Seeking Our Values

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Balanced Not Equal

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