Category: The Way of Coffee

The Milk Is Already On The Table
Jiu-Jitsu White Belt: “Professor, what should I do if somene has me belly-down in back mount, hooks in, with my arms trapped under my chest, and they begin applying a rear-naked choke?”

Professor Pedro Sauer: “Tap and start over. The milk is already on the table.”

Robert Van Valkenburgh with Pedro Sauer in April of 2014

The above quote is my best recollection of an actual conversation at a seminar I attended a while back with the legendary Brazilian jiu-jitsu (BJJ) teacher Pedro Sauer. Pedro Sauer is considered one of the best instructors in BJJ for his warm, calm demeanor and immaculate, finely detailed technique, so much so that his nickname is “Professor.” As an aside, it should be noted that Professor is also a rank-based title in BJJ and that Pedro Sauer is actually considered to be a Master-level instructor at this point. At the time of this seminar, I believe that he was still Professor Sauer, prior to Rickson Gracie promoting him to Master status. Either way, he is still commonly known as Professor. Back to the point.

The milk is already on the table is, I believe, Pedro Sauer’s version of the colloquialism: There is no use crying over spilt milk. In other words, what he is saying is that there are some positions one finds oneself in, in BJJ, wherein it is simply too late for escape or reversal. Belly-down back mount, with arms trapped, and a rear-naked choke sinking in is typically one of those positions. In BJJ, at least on the mats in the academy or in competition, tapping is the ultimate reset switch. When the milk is already on the table, it has already been spilled, there is no use fretting over it, accept defeat, learn from your mistakes and start over. The alternative, in this case, is not tapping and being choked unconscious. You still lose, but with a little bit less grace and fewer brain cells.

This sentiment of accepting a dead end for what it is, backing up a few steps, and starting over, either to retrace your steps to find out where you went wrong or to take an entirely different path altogether, is a useful metaphor for when things go wrong in life. If the milk is already on the table, clean it up and start over. Pour another glass or maybe have some coffee. Reevaluate and make a better decision for the future. Do not get hung up on the mistake, struggling to put the milk back in the glass.

-Robert Van Valkenburgh teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu at Kogen Dojo

39.073857 -76.547111
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March 30, 2019

bjj, brazilian jiu-jitsu, coffee, coffee shop, gracie jiu-jitsu, kogen dojo, Martial Arts, master, pedro sauer, professor, spilt milk
Be The One Thing That Goes Right For Someone Today
There is no downside to doing good work with passion and enthusiasm.

Cafe Latte from The Big Bean Coffee Shop

In my early 20’s, I did not make a lot of money and I did not need a lot of money. I had no credit card debt, no student loans, no mortgage, and no family to support. I made enough money as a barista at a coffee shop in downtown Annapolis to rent a room, to buy food, to go to the movies every once in a while, and to pay tuition at the martial art school I was a member of. There was not much else I wanted or needed. The job was not glamorous, but it was honest. I took pride in my work and I did my job well.

It was not just that job, however. Before that, I was a landscaper, a record store clerk, a dishwasher, and I had several other jobs in my adolescence. In all of these jobs, I took the work seriously and I did it as if reputation and my self respect depended on it. It is not that I was a perfect employee. Far from it. I was young, arrogant, and full of unwanted opinions, but I was dependable and I got the job done. It was and is still important to me that I have a sense of purpose in my work in order to do it passionately and enthusiastically. Without purpose, I drift into apathy and distraction.

The secret, though, is to create purpose for yourself in whatever you do. As a landscaper, for example, I made it my purpose to make the work I did look beautiful, even if it was simply mulching a garden bed. At the record store, I set out to provide customers with an enjoyable shopping experience, while also helping them find the music they sought after. When I was a dishwasher, I set out to organize the work station for maximum efficiency so that the whole process went more smoothly for everyone. With coffee, it was easy because I enjoyed the product of my labor. I enjoyed being a barista and making drinks for people. As a barista, I got to know all of my customers, their individual drinks and routines, and I provided a high quality product so that I knew that at least one thing went right for them on that day.

-Robert Van Valkenburgh teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu at Kogen Dojo in Severna Park, Maryland

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March 18, 2019

barista, coffee, coffee shop, effort, enthusiasm, hard work, passion, service, work ethic
Kaizen and Coffee: Bitter and Sweet
Give yourself a little bit of sweetness to take the edge off the bitter.

One of the easiest ways to all but guarantee failure in an activity or endeavor is to approach it with an all of nothing attitude. Since most things worth doing are inherently difficult, we are bound to trip up and fall on the way to accomplish them. If we have an all or nothing mindset, any one of these small failures could end up being the thing that make us quit altogether. If instead we look for small steps of progress along the way, when we stumble, we will see that we are still ahead of where we were.

In Japanese culture, they refer to this principle of incremental progress as kaizen (改善). Kaizen is the process of making small changes within a system or organization that have a positive impact from the top down in an that system or organization. This principle can also be used to refer to small steps of progress in any area of one’s life that needs improvement. Small wins keep us motivated and moving forward.

We must set ourselves and those around us up for success, not failure, from day to day. The best way to do that is to set achievable and measurable goals that increase gradually over time so that every step step forward feels like a win. Celebrate the small wins as milestones of success. Life has enough harsh and bitter moments that we need not add to them unnecessarily with daily losses and failures simply because we were too far-reaching. Give yourself tiny little moments of sweetness and satisfaction so that you can approach the next challenge with confidence and passionate dedication.

-Robert Van Valkenburgh teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu at Kogen Dojo

27.965945 -82.800070
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March 12, 2019

bitter, celebrate the wins, coffee, coffee shop, goal setting, kaizen, progress, small victories, small wins, sweet
Resetting Travel to Experience
The beauty of coffee is not only in its ability to keep us going, but in its ability to slow us down.

We visited Paris, France midway through what was proving to be, up until that point, a very fast-paced tour of Europe. We had seen parts of England, both the countryside and London, and now we were in another city in another country. World travel is supposed to be life-changing and fun, right? At this point, we were stressed out and exhausted from pushing ourselves to the limit, trying to see everything, but with not enough time to experience anything. So, I stopped.

We were on our way to see the Eiffel Tower and we came upon a small cafe. I walked inside, encouraging others to follow suit, I ordered an espresso, a croissant with jam for myself, a croissant with jam for my daughter, and I sat down. Whatever else we were going to do and see that day, I was going to experience and savor this moment. We were in Paris, after all. Should we not, even if for fifteen minutes, break away from being tourists and experience what it would be like to be Parisian? Is that not what makes travel most memorable and enjoyable, stepping into another world, foreign from our own, and allowing ourselves to be transformed by it?

The espresso was good. The croissant was good. This moment, however, was life altering. It was a necessary reset. It was a way to shift perspectives from looking at Paris to being in Paris. It transported us, at least in my mind, from having a superficial experience of the city to actually experiencing the city.

-Robert Van Valkenburgh teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu at Kogen Dojo

48.856788 2.351077
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March 2, 2019

cafe, coffee, coffee shop, Eiffel Tower, espresso, experience, France, Paris, Paris France, sight seeing, tourist, travel
Take a Moment to Reflect on Progress, Bearing, and Destination
Take a moment every day to reflect.

There is so much attention given these days to the hustle, the grind, and getting after it as a path to success, fulfillment, and freedom that it often feels as if we have missed some essential aspects of a meaningful life. Without taking a moment every now and then to take stock of what we have, how far we have come, and how much we have survived to get where we are now, it is easy to lose sight of all that there is to be grateful for.

As hard as we push forward through resistance, difficulty, and setbacks, we must also show ourselves some compassion and slow down sometimes to ensure that our bearing is true on the paths we have chosen. It is easier to evaluate and change course incrementally as we go than once we are so far along that we forget where we intended to get to in the first place and who we wanted to be once there.

-Robert Van Valkenburgh is a practitioner of Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu at Kogen Dojo
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February 14, 2019