Another person’s longterm plans may not include you.
No matter how much you may wish to be a part of someone else’s life and their longterm plans, they may not feel the same way. You may be on parallel paths now, but while you continue to move forward, they may be making decisions and taking actions that are putting them on a tangential path in a different direction. This may not even be intentional. It may not even be conscious.
Furthermore, things change, people change, and circumstances change. The unexpected happens, usually at what seems to be the most inopportune time. Outside forces may be acting on others in ways that you, or even they, do not see. What once felt like a sure thing, may turn out to be a dead end.
If you are living your life solely for others, your spouse, employer, friends, or partners, without maintaining your own bearing in the direction of what you value and find true, you may suddenly find yourself adrift and alone. Especially in times of hurt and confusion, integrity must be your compass. If you know yourself and your values, you will find your way. If you lose these, you will lose everything.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
-Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body, Severna Park’s Holistic Chamber of Commerce, and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
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