No matter how hard we try and how well we plan and prepare, something will inevitably go wrong at some point along the way.
This is part of the process.
We cannot account for every variable and every contingency.
And, we especially cannot wait to take action until after every variable and every contingency is accounted for.
We may want to achieve perfection, but, if we hope to make any progress at all, we have to be willing to settle for perfect enough.
Not only will perfect never actually happen, but while we wait for it, we will quite likely miss our opportunity to be successful in whatever endeavor we have chosen to attempt.
Success does not wait for perfection.
In fact, success does not wait.
Success favors the attempt itself.
Obviously, a more perfect attempt will lead to a more perfect result, but waiting for perfection before our attempt will cause us to never make an attempt at all.
Success is achieved through failure not in the avoidance of it.
We must do our best and we must also accept that our best may not be good enough, yet.
When our best is not good enough, it is up to us to adapt, to adjust, and to pivot in the face of whatever resistance we encounter.
Resistance should be seen merely as more information on our way to where we are going.
Resistance is educational.
We must, therefore, embrace the difficulties we face as that which will make us better tomorrow.
For, it is on the other side of difficulty that perfection is actually found.
Years ago, a few friends of mine and myself drove to The State Theatre in Falls Church, Virginia to see the blues* musician Taj Mahal do a rare acoustic solo performance for a charity called Music Maker Relief Foundation, an organization that helps to provide financial relief to impoverished American blues musicians. As fans of the blues in general and Taj Mahal in particular, we were all super excited for this intimate evening of music and good will. We knew that this was perhaps the only time we would ever have the opportunity to see Taj, who almost always traveled with a band, perform alone on stage with nothing but an acoustic guitar.
After having some car trouble (we got rear-ended on New York Ave in Washington DC by a federal police officer who was somewhat resistant to helping us get on our way), we made it to the venue. Our anticipation was palpable, a trio of grown adults as nervously excited as little kids who just found a dollar on the ground outside of a candy store. We could not wait to get inside and to get as close to the stage as possible to see this giant of a man sit atop a stool and bare his soul to us through six strings and a couple of microphones.
The opening acts, all older, poor blues musicians from different rural regions of America and recipients of Music Maker grants, were amazing in their own right. Then Taj Mahal got on stage. He was larger than life and we were in awe. His presence, his stature, his voice all overtook us as we watched. He talked for a bit and then picked at his guitar strings, noticing that it was a bit out of tune. He began tuning it and then shrugged, “Well, that’s good enough for folk music,” he said, and then he began playing and it was perfect.
The lesson I took away from this was that we can do our best to prepare, but when it is our time to step up and act, to do something for others, good enough is good enough to make a beginning. In the act of giving of ourselves generously and courageously, regardless of whether or not we are fully ready to do so, our mistakes and flaws are forgiven. It is in the doing that we find grace and perfection.
*Taj Mahal’s music goes way beyond blues, into folk, rock, Caribbean, African, and South Pacific musical influences and genres, but the blues is how I got into him.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh (artist unknown, unless otherwise noted).
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The path to compassion begins by accepting that perfection is fantasy.
Perfection is simply something that we imagine, an unattainable ideal that we project onto ourselves and others. Perfection is a false idea and a false ideal. It is our belief in perfection, for ourselves and others that sets us up to be disappointed when it is not achieved.
If we ever hope to be compassionate with ourselves or others, we cannot start with a falsehood as our foundational premise. False ideas set up false expectations and expectations, inevitably unmet, lead to frustration, sorrow, and even anger. A life of compassion must begin with what is real and what is true.
We may not like it, but imperfection is the truth. Everyone, including ourselves, will always fall short of our expectations. Once we admit this to ourselves, once we embrace our flawed natures, once we have accepted that none of us will ever do everything right, we can look at ourselves and others through a lens of compassion.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.
Failure brings us closer to perfection than waiting ever will.
Not all ideas are meant to be brought to life, but if we are waiting for the perfect idea to present itself, under the perfect circumstances, with the perfect timing, we will create nothing. We will bring nothing new into the world. Whatever inspiration we may have had will have been wasted on waiting.
The problem with perfect is that it is not something that manifests on its own. Perfect is the result of practice. Practice is the process of making an attempt, failing, making another attempt with better information, and then repeating that cycle over and over again until we improve or our product improves.
In order to have a really good idea that is executed with perfect timing under the perfect circumstances, we must first practice. We practice by executing not so good ideas or by executing good ideas poorly or with poor timing or under less than ideal circumstances. We then learn from those mistakes and try again, but with better information.
Eventually, if we are persistent enough, we may have a really good idea that we are able to bring to life with the right timing and under the right circumstances. Even this should be seen as practice, however. We never know what our best idea will be, so we must remain willing to fail, to admit our mistakes, and to do better next time.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Meditations on God 