Our focus should be on the steps we must take in order to get where we are going.
Everyone’s path is different.
It is okay to stop along the way for enjoyment, observation, and inspiration, but if we get too distracted by what others are doing, where they are in life, or what they have, we will miss out on what is meant for us.
Comparison is sometimes a useful tool, but taken too far, it leads to envy, jealousy, and self pity.
Our lives should not be measured using the lives of others as the standard.
There is too much out there for us if we dedicate ourselves to seeking it out to worry about others.
‘Meant For Us’ by Robert Van Valkenburgh
HOLISTIC BUDO: As in Life, so too in Budo. As in Budo, so too in Life.
There is no use being envious of people for reaping the benefits of doing things we were never going to do anyway.
If someone has something we do not, whether it is money, power, prestige, or a relationship, being upset about this fact will not change it.
Not only that, quite often people have things we do not because they were willing to do things we were not in order to get them.
Of course, luck, fate, and opportunity all play a part in our circumstances, but, that aside, effort and willingness can get us pretty far if we apply ourselves correctly.
Often, the reason others have things we do not is because they put time, effort, and attention into getting those things that we were unable or unwilling to.
Quite likely, our time, effort, and attention were spent on other things.
If this is the case, we are not actually missing out.
We made a choice and so did they.
Being upset about the results of these choices will not change what has been done and it will not help us move forward, living our lives according to our values.
They are born smart, talented, beautiful, wealthy, or some combination of these.
Most of us are not.
Most of us have to work for what we have, what we want, and who we want to be.
To compare ourselves to the lucky is beyond foolish.
The lucky did not become so on their own.
They did not work for it.
They did not will it into being.
It is not something they had control over.
It is not something they earned.
It serves no purpose to envy that which another person has or is, especially when they played no role in having or being it.
Envy will not help us to be more lucky.
Luck is unreliable and difficult to replicate.
It is far better to focus on that which we can control, that which we can change, and that which will actually improve our lives, our position, and our character.
Envy of another person is distraction enough from our own power, our own capabilities, and our own potential, but to be envious of luck is to admit that we have no hope of or plan for improvement.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
Meditations on God 