We may wish to change, but without the proper motivation, we may find it an impossible task.
Our habits, patterns, and triggers (for lack of a better word) are deeply ingrained into our psyche.
Our character has been formed by countless experiences and influences, both known and unknown to us.
And these things have affected us in ways it is impossible to fully comprehend.
Of course, there is deep, personal work we can do to better understand how and why we are who we are, but there will always be mysteries within us that no amount of effort can uncover.
Therefore, we find ourselves only partly in control of how we think, act, and communicate.
So much of the who, what, and why of ourselves resides deep beneath our consciousness.
We may admit that certain aspects of our character are objectionable, causing us and the people around us more pain, frustration, and confusion than we would wish to cause if we had a choice.
But if we only have a superficial grasp of these attitudes and behaviors, we can only address them superficially and this likely means temporarily.
Inevitably, when we are caught unawares, perhaps when we are overly tired, overworked, or overwhelmed, in spite of the pain it causes us and the people around us, we revert back to our old ways.
This may continue for years, maybe even for a lifetime if we cannot get down to the causes and conditions that have brought us to this point in our person.
But in order to do this, we must first be vulnerable enough to experience and be changed by the truth of who we have become.
For that to happen, however, there usually needs to be a catalyst, something that forces us to want to change so much that we are willing to dig deep within ourselves to unearth the things that are hiding, the things we could not our were not willing to see.
This catalyst for deep, revolutionary transformation most often manifests in our lives as either unrelenting pain or unwavering love.
And in spite of our wishes, this catalyst usually arrives when we least expect or want it.
If we do not take the opportunity to change when it presents itself, however, we have no guarantee when or if it will return.
Life’s greatest rewards are reserved for those who are willing to face the deepest of fears.
HOLISTIC BUDO: As in Life, so too in Budo. As in Budo, so too in Life.