Our focus should be on the steps we must take in order to get where we are going.
Everyone’s path is different.
It is okay to stop along the way for enjoyment, observation, and inspiration, but if we get too distracted by what others are doing, where they are in life, or what they have, we will miss out on what is meant for us.
Comparison is sometimes a useful tool, but taken too far, it leads to envy, jealousy, and self pity.
Our lives should not be measured using the lives of others as the standard.
There is too much out there for us if we dedicate ourselves to seeking it out to worry about others.
‘Meant For Us’ by Robert Van Valkenburgh
HOLISTIC BUDO: As in Life, so too in Budo. As in Budo, so too in Life.
There is not much use in being mad at people for doing things we would have done ourselves if we had the opportunity.
This type of jealousy is really just misplaced regret.
We are far better off making the most of the opportunities we have been given.
If we start where we are, embracing the situations and circumstances of our lives, instead of watching where other people have gone or are going, we may notice that we have a lot more options than we tend to perceive.
And, best of all, they are our options.
These options are real for us and are full of possibility, perhaps not the possibility we would prefer to have in front of us, but possibility nonetheless.
Within these very real opportunities lie the key to our freedom and contentment.
We may need to be creative with how we perceive and work within the limitations of our lives, but no one ever said things would come easily for us.
By working with what is, instead of pining over what others have that we do not, we give ourselves a realistic degree of hope and, perhaps more importantly, personal empowerment over the things we can actually change to our benefit and the benefit of the lives of those around us.
They are born smart, talented, beautiful, wealthy, or some combination of these.
Most of us are not.
Most of us have to work for what we have, what we want, and who we want to be.
To compare ourselves to the lucky is beyond foolish.
The lucky did not become so on their own.
They did not work for it.
They did not will it into being.
It is not something they had control over.
It is not something they earned.
It serves no purpose to envy that which another person has or is, especially when they played no role in having or being it.
Envy will not help us to be more lucky.
Luck is unreliable and difficult to replicate.
It is far better to focus on that which we can control, that which we can change, and that which will actually improve our lives, our position, and our character.
Envy of another person is distraction enough from our own power, our own capabilities, and our own potential, but to be envious of luck is to admit that we have no hope of or plan for improvement.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
Meditations on God 