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Meditations on God

  • Robert Van Valkenburgh

  • An Iconoclast with Respect for Tradition

    As part of my application process for getting into St. John’s College (even though I ultimately could not afford to attend), I was either required to have or decided to attain (I do not remember which) several reference letters from a few of my college professors. In spite of my high school performance, or lack thereof, I was a good student in college and they were happy to recommend me for acceptance into St. John’s. The letters were all very generous and I was honored to have them from these people I respected and enjoyed learning from.

    One letter in particular, written by a professor who I have written about elsewhere, I found quite moving. This professor explained in his letter that he saw in me “an iconoclast with respect for tradition.” The reason this particular comment from this particular professor stuck out to me and has stuck with me after all of these years is because it is something that never occurred to me before. He saw this dichotomy in my character that I did not see in myself. This simple little phrase caused me to reflect on who I was and how I related to the world and that reflection changed me.

    To see ourselves through the eyes of another, especially when what that person sees is reflected back to us with compassion, is a gift. In this instance, I could see some deep truth in what he saw in me and it not only explained some of my opinions, ideas, and actions, but it also allowed me to make better decisions about who I was and who I wanted to be. It has been my experience that there are certain aspects of our character that do not change. It is as if they are branded on our souls. They are part of us from before we are born and remain with us beyond the grave. Once we see these truths, once we acknowledge them, we can put them to use in the service of something greater instead of blindly being at their mercy.

    – Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

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    January 27, 2019
    iconoclast, service, st. john’s college, tradition

  • French Presses and Prejudices

    On my first day at the corporate coffee company I worked at for over a decade, the manager and assistant manager who hired me sat me down for orientation. Along with new-hire paperwork and orientation materials, they handed me a little book that resembled a passport. They each had one as well. Theirs had stickers and notes in them, but mine, being new, was blank. A barista brought over a glass carafe full of coffee, a few cups, and some pastry samples. The assistant manager, a serious coffee aficionado, asked me, “Have you ever done a coffee tasting with French-pressed coffee before?” “I like my coffee with cream and sugar,” I replied. “That is not what I asked you,” he said. “Have you ever done a coffee tasting with French-pressed coffee before,” he asked again. “I have not.”

    The assistant manager explained that the French press was the best way to taste all that a particular coffee had to offer because it extracted more coffee solids and oils from the ground up beans than drip coffee or espresso. In the French-press method, coffee was measured precisely, ground coarsely, put into the carafe, and filtered hot water was poured evenly over the coffee grounds. The coffee was then left to sit and steep for four minutes before a filtered plunger was used to press the grounds down to the bottom of the carafe, leaving only the coffee liquid to be poured out into the cup. The resultant coffee was rich and aromatic, meant to be sipped and savored, not masked with cream or sugar.

    Each of us was given a cup, a pastry to taste with it, and a ‘coffee passport’ to take notes in. We were not just drinking coffee. We were experiencing a coffee tasting. First, we held the coffee up to our noses and wafted the steam toward our faces as we inhaled the aroma of the coffee. Then we slurped the coffee, making sure that it coated all of the parts of our mouths. By slurping the coffee, instead of simply drinking it, we were simultaneously tasting it and breathing in the scent. This process allowed us to not only pick up the flavor of the coffee, but its distinct aroma, and mouthfeel as well. We then each described the coffee in our own words, noting where it hit our tastebuds, whether it was earthy, acidic, or floral, and if it had any subtle notes of chocolate, fruit, or nuttiness. Finally, we tasted the pastry to determine whether it enhanced or detracted from the flavor of the coffee. All of this was noted in our passport.

    This was the most sophisticated experience I had ever had in my young life and, even though I was out of my depth, I loved it. If I was missing all of this simply by putting cream and sugar in my coffee because it is what I thought I liked, what else was I missing simply by doing things my way instead of being open to new experiences? I am still learning this lesson every day.

    – Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

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    January 26, 2019
    coffee, coffee passport, coffee shop, coffee tasting, french press

  • The Service Epiphany

    One of the coolest jobs I have ever had was working at Tower Records when I was around nineteen or twenty years old. Unfortunately, the pay was inversely proportional to the cool factor. If you have ever seen the movie Empire Records with John Cusack, the experience was similar to that. Most of the people who worked at Tower, myself included, were music nerds who were customers as much as we were employees. We paid five percent above cost for music, movies, and books and a lot of my paycheck every week went back into Tower’s pockets. It was a fair trade, as far as I was concerned.

    When I first started working at Tower, I was a music snob. I liked what I liked. I knew what was good and what was pop garbage or music for old people and I scoffed at anything that was not hip enough or edgy enough for me. It never occurred to me that the pop albums and the classic rock were what kept the place in business so that I could buy the latest Front Line Assembly or Massive Attack CD and get dozens of free avant garde promos from the indie label record buyer. Celine Dion and Blink 182 were a waste of space, as far as I was concerned.

    I was working the floor one night, putting away new albums and cleaning up the racks, when a woman asked me if I knew where some new popular record was. I did, so I showed her. As I handed it to her, I could see that she was visibly happy to have it. Something in me shifted. Regardless of her taste in music not aligning with my own, it felt good to see her smile. I walked away with my head a little higher as I processed the encounter.

    The simple act of helping this stranger, with no selfish or ulterior motive whatsoever, was transformative. I wanted more of that feeling. I was on a mission to help as many customers as I could to find what they were looking for. Every time I did, it was like hitting a reset button on my day and I felt more vibrant and alive. It turns out that our personal tastes, preferences, or opinions really have nothing to do with being of service or the value it adds to our lives or the lives of those around us.

    – Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

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    January 25, 2019
    art, music, service, tower records

  • We Can Do Better

    In the part of Maryland I grew up in from middle school through high school, many of the neighborhoods, mine included, were new developments on old farmland. The farms had been bought by development groups, subdivided, and built on with new, large homes that stood out in contrast the older, smaller farmhouses that predated them. This meant that much of the population had recently migrated to the area from elsewhere.

    New homes and good schools created fertile soil for an influx of upper-middle class families from diverse racial, religious, and ethnic backgrounds. The area was once full of blue-collar families who were almost exclusively white with a few poor black families mixed in. However, it was fast becoming a proverbial mixing bowl, with people of all different social classes moving in, people who were different and who made those who had been there for multiple generations uncomfortable.

    My friends and I were a mixed group. We were white, black, Asian, and Jewish, but none of that defined us within our ranks because we were just friends. At school, however, amongst the general population, things were different. We were not like the others, like the people whose families had lived in that region for many years before we came along. As a result, there was a lot of conflict between our group and ‘the rednecks’ as we referred to them. Even some of the old-school teachers were confrontational toward us or dismissive of us. It did not help that we were also troublemakers, but this could easily be considered a chicken-and-egg problem.

    Do not ask me how, but one day we found ourselves on the roof of our high school. While we were walking around up there, we came across a flag. We picked it up and found it to be a Confederate flag with a picture of Hank Williams Jr. in the middle of it and the words “if only the South would have won” written across the top and bottom. The meaning behind the words on this flag and of the flag itself were no secret to us. We knew full well what it was implying.

    In our present social-political climate, I am reminded of this flag and of what it meant to my friends and me, how it was both hurtful and infuriating. Then I think about my friends themselves and I know that there are people around me who can and do make this an amazing place to live. Whoever made that flag, however, whoever bought it, and whoever put it on the roof of our school thought that my friends, and myself along with them, were somehow less than human, that we do not belong here, and that somehow this place would be better off without us. There is nothing great about that vision for America, but I also know that those people did not win and we still have hope.

    Written by Robert Van Valkenburgh

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    January 24, 2019

  • The Too-Honest Homeless Poet

    When I lived in downtown Annapolis, I spent much of my free time in coffee shops or sitting by the water, reading philosophy books and writing poetry. I met some very interesting people during that time, not the least of which were the local homeless people. There was one in particular with whom I would hang out and talk. He was an older black gentleman, maybe in his early 60’s, who we will call Kurt.

    Kurt had dreadlocks halfway down his back and he was relatively physically fit, a strong guy with a somewhat powerful presence. He carried around a backpack where he kept some clothes and a notebook in which he wrote poetry. If he was in the right mood, he would share some of his poems with me, many of which were quite moving. Every once in a while, he would ask for some money and I would give him a few dollars here and there. I did not have much myself, but I had more than him.

    On occasion, Kurt would come in to the coffee shop I worked at and would buy a cup of tea. If he did not have any money, I would give him one on the house, as one of the free drinks I was allotted for the day. He would fill the tea cup with dozens of honey packets and would sometimes fall asleep at the table where he drink it. I found myself cleaning up after him and apologizing for him on multiple occasions.

    One evening, Kurt and I were sitting out by the water talking and I asked him what happened to him. He was obviously intelligent and physically able, so why did he not work? “I do not like people telling me what to do,” he said. “Neither do I,” I replied. Then I continued, “I am not sure that is a good enough reason for you to ask me for the money I work hard for every day.” He did not disagree. We both went our separate ways knowing that our relationship was no longer the same.

    – Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

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    January 23, 2019
    annapolis, coffee, homelessness, poetry

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