The aspects of our character that we believe protect us from being hurt also prevent us from experiencing life.
We cannot simultaneously shield ourselves from pain and allow joy into our hearts.
Our hearts are either open or they are not.
In order to allow in joy, love, and connection, we also have to be vulnerable enough to let in sorrow, disappointment, and grief.
Of course, letting pain into our hearts is not the goal, but we cannot have the good without the possibility of the bad.