Self-pity is counter-productive.
Not only does it not get us what we want, but it actually helps to ensure that we never get it.
It keeps us alone and unhappy, feeling sorry for ourselves for being alone and unhappy.
Regardless of what we have been through or what we are currently going through, feeling sorry for ourselves for our troubles, our difficulties, and our suffering does nothing to change things for the better.
It does nothing to change us for the better.
In fact, self-pity tends to make things worse.
It makes it difficult to see the good in life, to see the upside, and the possibility.
And, it makes us difficult to be around.
Self-pity is like a vacuum that pulls all of the hope and happiness out of us and those around us.
Not only that, it offers no solution to whatever problem or problems we believe ourselves to have.
There is no aspect of self-pity that can improve our situation or our relationships.
Even if we are justified by all possible measures to feel sorry for ourselves and to expect others to feel sorry for us as well, it does absolutely no good to do so.
It is important for us to understand this fact, to accept it, to embrace it, and even to celebrate it by doing its opposite.
We are better than our negative emotions and the best way to demonstrate this is through positive action.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Kogen Dojo Self Defense Academy where he teaches Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
Photo by Ana.*
*Robert Van Valkenburgh’s black and white photography can be seen at My Darkness To Light
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