If we are going to be successful, however we happen to define success for ourselves, our why has to be greater than our why not.
We can do something we do not want to do for a while, but if our underlying reason for doing this thing is not meaningful enough to us or our core purpose, our efforts will not be sustainable.
When things become to difficult, when we face too much resistance, or when we are exhausted, frustrated, or overwhelmed, our why is what carries us through.
Life will give us more than enough why nots.
Reasons to quit are plentiful and easy to come by.
We only need one good why, however, and this why is ours alone to discover, nourish, and protect as the rare and precious gift that it is.
‘Why Over Why Not’ by Robert Van Valkenburgh
HOLISTIC BUDO: As in Life, so too it is in Budo. As in Budo, so too it is in Life.
If our reason for doing something is strong enough, it makes the how seem a lot less difficult.
When the why in our hearts and minds is in opposition with the why of our actions, we experience internal dissonance. This dissonance causes feelings of confusion or conflict about the path we are on, whether chosen for us or by us, because the reason we are on it does not align with our personal values or goals. If we continue too far and for too long in this direction away from who we want to be, this internal confusion and conflict begins to manifest itself outwardly as frustration, resentment, and worst of all, anger.
When our inner turmoil begins to express itself outwardly, we have to step back and ask ourselves if the path we are on is worth the price we are paying with our happiness and in our relationships. We have to ask ourselves if the why we are following will ever lead us to our true and actual purpose, whether it is a necessary detour, or whether it is a dead end leading us only to dissatisfaction and misery. Sometimes, necessity dictates our path, regardless of where it leads, so we must also be willing to ask ourselves if it is our path or our why that is truly causing our pain.
Regardless of the conclusions we arrive at, we have no right to burden others with the weight of them. While we are truly fortunate if we have others who share in our vision and our reason for pursuing it, quite often our path and our purpose is a weight we must carry alone, at least until its fruits begin to bear out. This process is much easier if we are clear about our why and if our actions align with our reason for taking them.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Bodyand Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
Meditations on God 