Look for opportunities to take yourself less seriously.
Damn your insecurities, self doubt, and self image.
Let go, have fun, and be spontaneous.
Become a child again, even if just for a moment.
Rediscover your youth.
Rediscover your true self.
Allow the moment to carry you away.
Let it energize you.
Give yourself permission to be free from worry and seriousness.
Enjoy yourself.
When aiming for success, be careful not to overshoot right past happiness.
It is possible to be too successful, to become so obsessed with doing better and having more that you miss the point of success altogether which is to have a life that you enjoy living.
In fact, without enjoyment, without the happiness and satisfaction that come from doing well for yourself and the people you care about, your accomplishments can hardly be seen as successful anyway.
Success, therefore, is not defined by what or how much you have, but by how happy you are with what and how much you have.
If you can find joy and contentment in your life regardless of where you are, what you have, or who you are with, you will be successful beyond measure.
Things will not always go how we hoped they would or planned for them to go.
In fact, maybe most of the time things will go differently than we wished or assumed they would.
This is simply part of the path.
We cannot control every detail, variable, and circumstance so that all of life conforms to our will, our plans, and our designs.
That is an impossible task and one that will leave us exhausted, frustrated, and disappointed if we attempt it.
Instead of even trying, we are much better off accepting how little we truly know, preparing to be adaptable to the inevitable changes that will come at us, and embracing the mystery of the moments that lie ahead of us.
Life is much more interesting and enjoyable when we let it happen and participate in the happening than when we limit our experiences to our finite imaginations and desires anyway.
Pragmatism, along with its attributes necessity, efficiency, frugality, and prudence, is a useful tool, especially with regards to necessity, but it is not an end in itself.
The goal of pragmatism is not merely to be more pragmatic.
It is a starting point.
It helps us to survive and, if used wisely, to thrive.
Pragmatism’s purpose is to give us space, to buy us time, and to increase the distance between ourselves and necessity.
It helps us to reach a place where, beyond the struggle for food, clothing, shelter, and security, we can actually begin enjoying our lives, our relationships, and our experiences.
Once our basic and immediate needs are met, once we have some financial, emotional, and relational security, our focus should shift away from pure necessity for necessity’s sake and toward that which brings us joy, contentment, and satisfaction.
There is more to life than that which necessity, efficiency, frugality, and prudence will give us.
Pragmatism lays the foundation, but a life built on pragmatism alone is existing more than it is truly living.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
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“I think the most important thing is to have fun. Everyone wants to progress, to get better, but, if you have fun, you will never quit… you will always do it. Eventually, everyone gets better. If you have fun, you will keep showing up.“
— Caio Terra, 12x Jiu-Jitsu World Champion
In whatever we do, we must find a way to do it that is sustainable over a long period of time. We all know the person, or have been the person, who tries something new, whether it is a hobby, a type of exercise, a diet, or whatever, and becomes obsessed with it, can not stop talking about it, and then quits. Passion, it turns out, is not sustainable, but enjoyment is.
Most often, manic, fanatical obsession with anything burns out as quickly and as intensely as it arrives. This is why New Year’s resolutions, for most people, do not last past January. The goal of any new practice should be to do it just slightly above our level of ability, to the point where it is difficult, but not so far beyond that point that it feels impossible, frustrating, or overwhelming to think about doing it forever.
Enjoyment alone is not sufficient and we should not settle for doing that which is easy simply because it is more fun. Anything worth doing is going to be difficult and it is in the difficulty that progress, growth, and change are to be found, but anything worth doing should also bring us joy, perhaps as the direct result of the difficulty. In order for us to sustain a worthwhile practice over a long period of time, we must find that sweet spot where difficulty and enjoyment overlap and then show up every day.
Holistic Budo: As it is in budo, so too it is in life. As it is in life, so too it is in budo.
Robert Van Valkenburgh is co-founder of Taikyoku Mind & Body and Kogen Dojo where he teaches Taikyoku Budo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
All photos by Robert Van Valkenburgh unless otherwise noted.
If you found this post helpful or meaningful in some way, please feel free to Share, Comment, and Subscribe below.
Meditations on God 