The world wants to distract you
from God’s presence
latching onto your pride
envy and fear
making you believe
you are missing out
on being valued
loved and accepted
when true value
true love
and true acceptance
have but one source
found in the quiet solitude
of God’s eternal embrace
ONE SOURCE
By Robert Van Valkenburgh
Meditations of a Gentle Warrior
To read my longer writing, visit http://www.robertvanvalkenburgh.com
Having unreasonable standards for other people only makes you less happy.
People are going to be who they are.
Your expectations won’t change them.
It’s okay to expect that the people close to you are honest, kind, and generally decent.
It’s also okay to expect that people do what they say they will do when they say they will do it.
However, aside from these baseline expectations, people are not going to conform to your standards simply because you wish it to be so.
The sooner you can accept others as they are, instead of insisting they be who you want them to be, the happier you will be in your relationships.
SETTING EXPECTATIONS
By Robert Van Valkenburgh
Meditations of a Gentle Warrior
To read my longer writing, subscribe at robertvanvalkenburgh.com
Whenever I see people speaking out against another person’s race, gender, nationality, class, social status, sexual identity, citizenship status, political affiliation, etc., I ask myself, “When will he or she come after me, my friends, or my family because I’m/we’re different?”
I grew up with bullies, bigots, and racists, with hatred and violence, perhaps not as much as some, but more than most people I now know.
I was picked on because I was an overweight, socially awkward nerd. My friends were (are) Jewish, Asian, black (they did not identify as African Americans – several were actually first or second generation Trinidadian-Americans – but as black), skaters, punks, nerds, gamers, etc. We all got along like brothers. By that, I mean we loved, respected, and fought with and for each other.
Our differences brought us together, especially against the bullies, bigots, and racists we were surrounded by. We had an amazing childhood, as far as I’m concerned, and our bonds were strengthened by the persecution and small-mindedness around us.
What I see now are people who want to divide us, who celebrate and justify hatred for those who are different, and who think that they are exempt from the same thing eventually happening to them.
If I call you my friend, you are someone who is more interested in who someone is, not what (race, nationality, gender, sexual or political identity, etc) someone is. If you want to divide us based on these differences, know that I too am ‘different,’ my family is ‘different,’ and my friends are ‘different.’ That makes me your enemy.
I still love and accept you, but know that I see you and I ask myself: “When will he or she come after me, my friends, or my family because I’m/we’re different?”
Originally written in 2018
There is no reason to make yourself unhappy simply so that someone else can feel more comfortable.
Without being cruel, insensitive, or mean-spirited, be yourself.
Do not grovel, crawl, or shy away from being who you are.
Be yourself unapologetically.
Others will adapt.
They may even thank you for it.
The world is full of people who are not you.
One more not you is not needed.
We need you to be yourself boldly and bravely.
Listen to your heart’s calling, follow it wherever it leads, and allow your life to be an expression of whatever truth you find along the way.
Live your life as yourself, even if it means going against the flow and disappointing others along the way.
The ones who matter will understand and the ones who do not understand do not matter.
There is really no point in being upset about the inevitable.
If you cannot change what is happening, getting angry, frustrated, or worked up over the situation will not improve it.
Likewise, if you do have the power to change your circumstances, being upset will not make doing so any easier and choosing not to change things is no excuse for self pity or resentment.
Mind you, there is a time and a place to be upset.
We are not meant to be emotionless creatures who accept every happening in our lives as fate.
Some experiences are truly upsetting, painful, or even intolerable.
The point is that being upset about what you cannot change, or even what you can, will not make your life or your circumstances better.
Meditations on God 